Jillian Kicked My Butt!

Knowing that my ability to go to the gym to do Body Pump after I returned to work would be difficult, I bought a Jillian Michael's SHRED DVD over two months ago. Hubby and I got some Bowflex weights off of Craig's List last week and I finally decided to give it a try. Because I was feeling a bit lazy, I figured I'd start with Level One. Wow! It was more of a workout than I thought it would be. I had planned on doing Level One AND Two, but decided to stop after One because I am going to my *first tempo run* (EVER) with the group tomorrow AM and didn't want to be too beat up. I am a big fan of this DVD, although I do wish that Jillian was better with prompting and counting the number of reps left. Can't wait to try out Levels Two and Three!

Blah Father's Day

I had high hopes for Father's Day. I was going to get up early and run 10 miles with Nathan in the jogging stroller so that my hubby could sleep in. Then his mom and sister were going to come over and I was going to make the yummy ham and cheese soufle he requested and we were going to go visit some vineyards.

Unfortunately, hubby spent the majority of Saturday night/Sunday morning puking his guts out. We went to a local Blues Festival Saturday night and he had some smoked chicken and collard greens from one of the vendors. Let's just say he saw a lot of the collard greens and they aren't pretty the second time around. The collard greens were paid tribute on our shower curtain and bathmat. Not sure how that happened.

So, our Father's Day consisted of Nathan and I keeping hubby company on the sofa and making toast. Poor Hubby.

He was very excited by the present I got him: a bike trailer so that we can take Nathan on our biking adventures! I got a two-seater...time to start thinking about number two!

Does the middle path simply mean mediocrity?

Thanks so much for your heart-warming comments on my last blog. We are all forging our own way in motherhood and it is so nice to have a peer group of women that include ATHLETES in their new identities.

Since my conversation with my mother, I've been thinking a lot about my career and being a mother. I feel like I am straddling the fence and not really giving 100% to any aspect of my life (motherhood, career, husband, running). I was on a panel this past week with several female CXOs (speaking in my capacity of the non-profit I run...which I have finally decided to resign from) and I noticed that of the five women...only 2 were married, but had no children. These women were indeed very successful in their careers, but what about the other aspects of their life? Is the only way to be successful at something to put all your efforts toward it? I looked around at these women and realized that I didn't want to be them. If I am really honest with myself, I don't necessarily place a lot of value on achieving a high level leadership position and would rather have a multi-dimensional life. Granted, I don't know everything going on in their lives, but based on their personal bios and the amount of time that their career takes, I don't think I want to make that investment.

But, where does this leave me with my career? All of the assumptions that I have been making for the past 9 years seem null and void. I no longer have an end goal in mind other than balancing my life with Nathan and fitting in time for running. One of the things I was originally looking for when I started my career was a profession where I could grow and advance and pull in a decent salary. It was always important to me to have my own income because (a) I didn't want all of the burden to fall on my husband; (b) I wanted to feel self-sufficient should something happen to my husband or marriage; (c) I like to spend money! I know that stepping out of my career to take care of children would have some great advantages (time with Nathan, more free time for my family because we wouldn't have to spend our weekends cleaning and running errands). But, working also has some great benefits, like mental stimulation, interaction with people I enjoy, an external source of self-esteem, and more financial freedom...and the all important justification for hiring a cleaning lady and massages.

I started reading an interesting book on female leadership "Through the Labyrinth: The Truth About How Women Become Leaders" and it has an interesting section on balancing motherhood and careers:

"Many mothers, including some who have superb career credentials, choose part-time employment, take lengthy leaves of absence, or even leave employment entirely while raising children. However, women who take such actions do so very likely at the expense of their long-term careers. Many women may not realize the magnitude of the costs they may incur. And many women may not fully understand the advantages of maintaining employment despite substantial family responsibility.

What are these advantages? Because people want a healthy and satisfying life, we ask whether the combination of employment, marriage, and parenthood is the best way to achieve such a life. The answer isn't obvious. In fact, there are two very different ways that social scientists have theorized about multiple roles. According to one view, having multiple life roles creates stress, strain, and overload because multiple demands quickly become excessive. According to an alternative view, having multiple roles enhances learning and mastery. Also, each new role generally affords some increase in social support and builds social capital. In this view, a life full of challenges does not wear people down but instead strengthens them."

What do you all think? Does having multiple life roles strengthen you or stress you out? My mother seems to think it will just stress me out--which if I am truly honest--is a fear of mine.

I keep reminding myself that there is no one path and even if I decide to tread water in my career for the next few years that there is no reason that I can't change career paths or ramp back up.

I have been thinking a lot about changing career paths....

My two new career day dreams:

Physical therapist:

WHY: All of my friends call and ask for suggestions when they are hurt and I seem to have a 6th sense about people's injuries and how to heal them.

UPSIDE: I know several physical therapists that work 30 hours a week and it seems to be a very family friendly job. Plus, I wouldn't have to sit at a desk all day, which I hate. It's also a portable job that perhaps my hubby and I could use to finally implement our Australia plan.

DOWNSIDE: Three freaking years of school and possibly some prereqs that I would have to complete. I also hear that most physical therapists burn out after 10 years. What would I do if I get bored? Would I just have to start a new career?

Writer:

WHY: I do this at my current job, but I've always been obsessed with being a magazine writer/editor. I actually tried to move to NYC after college, but couldn't land a job and couldn't afford to move up there and wait to find a job.

UPSIDE: I wouldn't have to get any additional training and could free-lance for the next few years.

DOWNSIDE: BIG pay cut. Doesn't feel like a "real" skill like PT. Is this realistic considering the downturn of the publishing sector?

"I just don't get this running stuff"

My parents have been saying this to me for years. I've had to defend my sport against their many complaints. When we had problems getting pregnant, of course it was "because of all that running." Why was Nathan measuring small? "Because of all that running!" And, at least every other time we talk they say "you know you're not going to be able to walk when your old because of all that pounding." Despite providing them with scientific evidence, they still choose to believe that running is a vain and selfish pasttime. Because they don't understand "the obsession," I generally don't tell them about the races I run or the training I am doing. I guess at some point we all have to find our own internal motivation. For the most part, I am able to write it off as generational and personality differences, but this past weekend they crossed the line and really hurt my feelings.

I was so excited about my half-marathon results that I told my mother that I thought I might be able to qualify for the Olympic Marathon Trials if I trained hard enough. Upon hearing this, my mother went into a tizzy. She called my husband on Sunday and told him that she thought that I wasn't being a good mother to Nathan because "of all that running." She said that when she was a mother she put her children first and that I was "doing too much" and creating a stressful environment for Nathan. She also said that "because of all that running" I wasn't making enough milk and was starving Nathan. She thinks that Nathan is falling behind developmentally because he is not getting the nutrition he needs and that I need to stop being pig-headed and start feeding him formula. My wonderful husband, my advocate and partner, came to my defense and tried to assuage her concerns. He told her about the many bios of women who had qualified for the 2008 Olympic Trials while working full-time and raising children. He told her that he supported my decision and that, yes, I was a multi-tasker who always heaps a lot on my plate. He said this was one of the many reasons that he loves me. He said that I was a wonderful mother and that I create a calm, loving home for Nathan.

But, her words have left their scar and I can't help but be hurt that she can't understand what an awesome experience it would be to train and attempt such a lofty goal and that she questions my devotion to Nathan. I really wonder what it would be like to have parents that understood me and respected my values. But, you can't pick your family...you can only pick your friends. Guess this is another opportunity for me to grow some scar tissue.

Running Stats for the Past Two Weeks

I'm working on a blog post in my head, but wanted to get my running stats down on paper before I forget them.

Last Week:
Monday, June 1, 2009: 70 minutes elliptical
Tuesday, June 2, 2009: 30 minutes Power Yoga, Track Workout: 1 mile warm-up, 1 x 1600 w/ 400 laps; 3 x 800 w/ 400 laps; 3 x 400; 1.5 mile cool down (~7 miles)
Wednesday, June 3, 2009: 5 miles, Power Yoga video
Thursday, June 4, 2009: 5 miles
Friday, June 5, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Saturday, June 6, 2009: 1/2 Marathon + 5-10 minutes warm-up
Sunday, June 7, 2009: 2 mile walk with friends
Total Mileage: 30-31 miles

This Week:
Monday, June 8, 2009: 8.6 miles
Tuesday, June 9, 2009: 8.6 miles
Wednesday, June 10, 2009: 7 miles, Power Yoga video
Thursday, June 11, 2009: 8.6 miles
Friday, June 12, 2009: 7-9 miles (4 w/ Angela!)
Saturday, June 13, 2009: 10 miles
Sunday, June 14, 2009: 70 minutes elliptical
Total Mileage: ~50.8 miles

Race Report

This was the second time that I'd run this race. Last year I ran it at 4 months pregnant and my husband and I decided to make it a family tradition. It's a beautiful point-to-point rails to trails course through the woods next to a creek and is fairly easy. Plus, my husband went to university here so it is a great excuse to visit his old haunts.

As you all know, I was a little nervous going into this race for several reasons and my bare minimum goal was to break 1:30 and my secret wish was to continue to pump out the 6:33/miles that I had done in my two 10 milers in April. I knew there was a chance that I could win the race as the winner last year ran it in 1:28, but I didn't want to get too cocky. The winner from last year had a small baby and I remember thinking that I hoped to be a bad @ss running mother like her some day!

I actually went to the front line so that I could start with the faster people. I usually start farther back because I never think that I am fast enough to run at the front, but I have been trying to change the way I think about myself. There were two women at the front that I recognized from the prior year, including the bad @ss running mom that won last year. I ran for about 5 minutes to warm up and did a couple of strides while waiting for the race to get started. As soon as the gun took off, I tried to keep myself from going out too fast, but did the first mile in 6:10. It felt pretty easy though and I was tempted to keep pumping them out. I actually ran the first 5K in 18:23, which was a PR for me....well, since I've never actually run a 5K, I think it was a PR for me. I decided to slow it down a bit and settled into 6:20/miles. I felt AWESOME even though I swore that the course was some sort of freakish M.C. Esher painting where I couldn't tell up from down. I kept expecting to slow down or feel tired, but it never happened.

Around mile 10 this bald dude passed me and jokingly said "don't let [bad @ss running mom] pass you." At this point, I decided that I wanted to win this race. I could feel her about 1/2 mile behind me and could hear the cheers for her in the distance. I kept plugging along and knew she was getting closer, but I wasn't sure by how much. I was running scared. When I came around the last turn and saw the finish, I knew the race was mine and cruised in to finish in at 1:23:34. The bad @ss mom came in 10 seconds behind me. I felt great...almost as if I could have plugged another 5 miles. I happened to overhear bad @ss mom say that she had just run Boston in 2:58.

OK--question for all you runners...what are you SUPPOSED to feel like after a race? Did I leave too much of myself out there? Should I be puking after races? I have NEVER puked after a race. Also...does this mean that I might be able to break a 3 hour marathon?? I NEVER thought that was possible!!

Now I don't know what to do with myself. I am going to sign up for a fall marathon, but don't know what interim races I should sign up for (other than the two I've already signed up for). How many miles should I be running during the week? How many weeks should I train for the marathon (16?)?

Getting Ready to Head to West By God

We leave tomorrow morning for the 1/2 marathon. In true Type-A style, we have completely booked our weekend:

Friday: Drive to marathon; Lunch with my hubby's brother and Dinner with hubby's co-worker and wife who recently moved to university town because the wife got a tenured professor position there

Saturday: Race in the AM; Fish Fry with hubby's cousins for Lunch; Dinner with hubby's friends from university

Sunday: Drive home

I'm trying not to stress too much about the race and am hoping to get under 1:30, but we'll see.

I'm sure to come back with interesting stories from WV. Hubby's family fits the typical WV red neck stereotype...double-wide trailer and all. I swear half of them have been on the Jerry Springer show or at least have stories that could have been a Jerry Springer script.

• Like his cousin who taught the mother of his child to drive BECAUSE SHE WAS 14 WHEN SHE GOT PREGNANT.
• Or his other cousin that thought he could get on Jack-Ass by video-taping one of his friends trying to jump over a moving car (the guy broke both legs).*
• Or his grandfather who didn't pay taxes for 15 years and, when the IRS agent asked him what he was thinking, replied "I didn't think I'd be alive when you caught me."
• Or his other grandfather who jerry-rigged a copper wire to a telephone pole to get phone service.
• Or his great-grandmother who lives in a town so small that all you have to do to send her mail is write her first and last name and Matheny, WV.
• Or his mother who duct-taped the wall-paper back up on the wall when it fell off after the radiator broke FOUR YEARS AGO.
• Or my own lovely husband who offered to get his mom a prostitute when he was 13 years old because he thought that she was lonely as a single mom.

Anyway, there will definitely be some sort of interesting story out of this weekend...if not an interesting race report. My hubby is running the half-marathon, too. He's hoping to finish the race before the afternoon.**

*Available on YouTube.

**The race starts at 9 a.m.