Braxton Hicks--Already???

During my last pregnancy, I had a traumatic experience with Braxton Hicks. I was 24 weeks pregnant and had been noticing that I was having BH fairly regularly, sometimes several times in an hour (they care if you have more than 4-5 in an hour) (see my post about it). I went in to see the doctor, they freaked out, my husband freaked out, I freaked out. I very nearly missed a flight to a wedding that I was in. Obviously, my pregnancy turned out fine. I was 39 weeks 4 days when I delivered my son after much persuasion from drugs...so there was NO problem with early dilation (thank goodness).

I noted in my blog that I first started noticing them around week 22. Here I sit at 20 weeks and they are DEFINITELY happening again. I'm almost reluctant to tell my husband or doctor because of their reaction the last time, but I guess I'll bring it up at my next OB appointment.

In terms of comparisons to my last pregnancy, this pregnancy is pretty similar. I've been running almost as much as I ran the last time (with the exception of our recent vacation to the Pacific NW where I didn't get to run much at all....I was a little too afraid of a bear chasing me to actually be able to run in Glacier). My stomach is definitely bigger this time. I don't weigh myself (and didn't weigh myself last pregnancy) so I don't know how the weight gain compares, but I would imagine I started this pregnancy a little higher than my last pregnancy and have probably gained a few more pounds, but who knows. I'm not worried about weight gain. My attitude is that if the nurse/doctor brings it up (too much or too little) then I will pay attention, but for the most part I'm just eating like I've always eaten (sans sushi, copious amounts of wine, and deli meat). Which means LOTS of chocolate...peanut butter...salads...greek yogurt...and fruits galore.

I'm finally getting to the point where I am EXCITED about this pregnancy...where I actually WANT to tell people I am pregnant and share in the joy of our baby girl. Which is refreshing. But, at the same time, I fear that I have lost sense of the precariousness of our situation and how easily all of this could be taken away from me. I didn't even BUY anything for my son until I reached viability (24 weeks) and I actually bought four outfits this past weekend for Baby Joy (not her name). Am I tempting fate?

Our Fairy Girl

I had my 20 week ultrasound today. The baby is doing well. And, joy of joys, we are having our fairy girl. The one I have dreamed of since I was a girl. Sweet girl, I cannot wait for you to be in my arms, safe and healthy and pink with life.

An Interlude

Just a quick stop-in between our two vacations this month (Maine and the Pacific NW) to say that we are alive...

The baby has been quite active the past few weeks. I'm feeling lots of movement and hiccups. The light fluttering of life below. Such precious little moments.

Nugget has been so much FUN and so much WORK on this vacation. We're still trying to potty train him and his temper tantrums are growing. But, we also have wonderful times. Running along the coast as Nugget shouts, "I running, I running!" Playing lion in the park as we roar at birds and squirrels. Curled up in bed, listening to the low bleat of the fog horn.

On to vacation #2.

Is Running During Pregnancy WRONG….Especially for Someone that TRIED SO HARD to Get Pregnant?

The typical response that I've been getting from people upon telling them that I am pregnant is: "you aren't running are you?" Sometimes followed by "you'd better relax this pregnancy." The underlying assumption to this statement is that relaxing was the reason I couldn't get pregnant or that relaxing ensures a healthy pregnancy and baby. And, we all know that the pyscho-somatic control that we have over our bodies' ability to get and stay pregnant is basically NON-EXISTENT.

I understand their logic. It was hard to get pregnant. How awful would it be if I lost the pregnancy? Would I blame myself for not doing EVERYTHING to protect this pregnancy? The thing is…I know people who haven't been active physically and extremely vigilant about following pregnancy commandments…and still lost their babies. Miscarriage, pre-term labor, genetic conditions ARE NOT INDUCED because of exercise, despite the popular misconception that physical activity is bad for the pregnant woman. This is a remnant of Victorian era logic that held that women cause miscarriages by being too active.

Plus, I have the experience and knowledge that I have a healthy and active pregnancy with my son. I ran 30-60 miles a week through weeks 10-35 and gave birth to a full-term baby. You can look through my 2008 entries to see the mileage I logged. I was so surprised to be able to run so much during my pregnancy, but I felt great and saw no reason to stop running unless medically necessary. I did stop running at 35 weeks because I started measuring small and they were worried that I had intra-uterine growth restriction (IUGR). My son was born at 6 lbs, 2 oz and was in 3rd percentile for his weight. He remained in the 3rd percentile until he was 2 years old (with a weird uptick to 20th percentile I believe when he was 3-4 months old). Since his birth, I learned that birth weight is largely genetic and that my husband's family generally tends to have smaller babies (my husband was 6 lbs, 5 oz; his sister 5 lbs, 11 oz; his brother 6 lbs, 1 oz) and I weighed 5 lbs 6 oz (I was a few weeks early, though). So, I have a hard time believing that my running caused his low birth weight.

But, there are times when doubt creeps in while I am running and I wonder if I am doing something wrong…if I am being an irresponsible mother to the baby I love and hope to hold in my arms. What if the impact of running during pregnancy isn't realized until the baby is older?

I wish I had the naivety in believing that everything that would work out…or at least the reassurance that if this pregnancy didn't work out that I could get pregnant again. But, I don't. This will likely be the last time I am ever able to get pregnant with a biological child.

Running keeps me sane. It is my ballast against my anxiety. It frees me from the chain of worry. It makes me feel strong and fit. It reminds me that my body hasn't failed me entirely.