Embryo Transfer

Well, it's done. All I have to do now is wait.

The transfer itself went fine, but unfortunately only one survived the thaw process. I was devastated when the embryologist told me right before the transfer. I sobbed the whole transfer and pretty much all day Thursday and Friday. There's only a 35% success rate with one embryo (50% with two).

So, I'm not very hopeful that this will work. I feel like we just wasted two months (six months total) and $5k. I wish we'd done the fresh cycle.

Here's hoping I make it the next 12 days.

Thumbs Up

Thanks so much for your sweet comments. I'm trying to keep my spirits up. I finally got my period, so I'm fully in the FET cycle now. The transfer is scheduled for 5/27/2010 and I find out the results 6/10/2010. I just added estradial shots to the mix and they are making me so nauseous that I'm having a hard time eating/keeping food down.

Nugget's 18 month appointment was this past Friday. He's grown like a weed since his 15 month appointment: 3 inches in height, moving from the 5th to 50th percentile in height!! He also moved from the 3rd to 4th percentile in weight. Little guy is still wearing his 6-9 month shorts from last summer....he's such a string bean!

He's so much fun these days and *really* into all things cleaning....

He added FIVE new words to his vocabulary: hummus (my favorite), please (awww), poop (yuck!), fish, and water. This basically doubles his vocabularly. He's not the most verbose toddler, but he seems to be learning with greater rapidity, which makes me hopeful.

Running-wise, I've been hovering around 50-60 miles per week. I think I might shoot for 60-70 miles per week until the transfer, after which I will do nothing but walk and light yoga. My team-mates and coach have been asking when I'm going to return to the track. I'm too afraid to do any speed workouts until I get the pregnancy results...and even then I might wait until we get a heartbeat.

Hope you all are doing well!

Swallowing My Words

I haven't been posting/commenting much because I've found it hard to come to this blog and see the updates with so many people pregnant. I'm really struggling with our infertility. Most days I can make it through the morning...but by noon...as the monotony of the day wears in and I am away from Nugget, the fear slowly starts to seep in. The fear that this won't work and that we'll have to do it again. That we're gambling on a losing bet. That I'll have to hear about one more person getting pregnant while we struggle. That someone will ask me what my next race is and I'll have the swallow the words I want to say: I'm not running because we're spending a sh*tload of money on fertility treatments and they'd better d@mn well work because we only have enough for two cycles and running a race is the least of my freaking concerns. All I want to do is hold Nugget and be with him...because he takes my mind off all of this. He reminds me that there is hope. And, I'm worried that he'll be our only baby and I certainly don't want to be wasting my precious time with him at work. It's all I can do to manage the bare minimum at work. I just can't stand being there, away from him.

In terms of the process, I've been taking Lupron shots for 8 days, waiting for my period to come so that we can start the FET cycle. It should come 7-12 days after starting Lupron, but I have no symptoms of Aunt Flo in sight.

Sigh.

Here are some shots of Nugget that make me happy: