HSG x 3

Yesterday I had my 3rd HSG. My 2nd HSG in the past 6 months. The new RE wanted to do another HSG because the results on my last HSG indicated that there might be some blockage on my right tube. I would describe an HSG as about a 6 on the pain scale with 0 being eating chocolate while drinking my favorite red wine and 10 being pushing a small child out of my va-jay-jay after 30 hours of labor. So, it's not exactly COMFORTABLE.

My HSG yesterday was a 1 on a scale of 10. I was sitting there with my legs splayed open telling the P.A. doing the HSG stories about Nugget's obsession with trucks during the whole procedure. I couldn’t believe it! The results were good: no blockage, no pooling, everything looked great. I am peeved that we had to miss my "month of the amazing 18 antral follicle count" for this, but oh well. At least we know there is nothing wrong with my ute.

I am still reeling from the news about my sister. I imagine with time I will feel joy for her and her husband. But, right now…I just feel slighted by life.

Please God, Just Kick Me While I'm Down

Let me preface this post by saying that I am a truely awful person.

My sister is pregnant. You know, the one with only 4 antral follicle count and an AMH of 0.3? Whose husband has 3% morphology (just like my husband)? The one that did her first IUI ever, which was also her first cycle of trying to get pregnant because she doesn't ovulate on her own. That sister.

I just want to say THANKS God for kicking me while I'm down. For making me feel for a couple of weeks that I wasn't alone in the world and that our problem was genetic and out of my control. Instead, no. My husband and I are just freaks of nature that can't get pregnant despite having a higher AMH, better antral follicle counts, and trying with all of our hearts for the past 1.5 years to get pregnant.

I wish I could have a better perspective about this. Or, even be happy for my sister that she didn't have to go through the hell we went through.

But, why not me, too? Why do I have to suffer so much?

Now, I feel even more alone than I ever felt before.

Stupid Doctors with their Stupid Medical Degrees

My RE nixed the idea of doing a cycle this month because he's afraid of there being a dominant follicle if we don't do estrogen priming or birth control. He reassured me that I would be culling from these antral follicles next month. Yeah, right. My antral follicle count last month was 9 and this month it's 18 and I'm supposed to believe that it's going to be high again next month? Not likely, bup. I may not have a medical degree, but I know a freaking miracle when I see one.

So, we are going to do the staid, responsible thing and listen to the stupid doctor with his stupid medical degree.

Also, some points of interest from my meeting with CCRM, RMA-NJ, and Shady Grove last week:

CCRM: Said I have diminished ovarian reserve, likely genetic. Says he would give me a 30% chance of success. Says we have 3 options: Day 3 transfer w/ co-culture, Day 5 transfer w/ PGD, or donor eggs. He said he would do an estrogen priming and antagonist protocol with some human growth hormone. He doesn't think there is anything else wrong with me (immune issues, uterine lining issues). Great bedside manner, not narcissitic or aggressive.

RMA-NJ: I love this clinic and I wish we could do another cycle there, but they just don't have the experience with diminished ovarian reserve and we only have $5K more in insurance coverage up there. He said we should do one more cycle or at least use our frozen embryo and then move on to donor eggs. He was also very confident in their ability to ship down an embryo if we chose to do a FET locally.

Shady Grove: Great first appointment. The doctor was totally open to trying different protocols and my input (which is not an experience that I have had at other clinics). We are going to do one last cycle with this clinic because it would be basically free between my insurance, my husband's insurance and my friend's drugs. We are going to do: estrogen priming (with a estrogen patch) and antagonist protocol on the maximum dosage (450iu follistim, 150iu menopur). We're also going to do an aggressive Day 3 transfer with 3-4 embryos and freeze any leftovers on day 5 (ha ha, like that's going to happen). We're also going to do PICSI (a new process to select the best sperm), ICSI, and Assisted Hatching. We're also going to do lovenox for good measure. He also wants to repeat my HSG because my results were questionable and tubal issues could impact implantation. So, yeah me! One more HSG!

That's the plan, Stan.

Do the antral count bop

I was going to get on this morning and post about poor poor pitiful me with my (of course) failed natural IUI (HUGE surprise, right??). And, then I was going to whine about how I couldn't figure out whether we should do one more cycle of IVF or move on to donor eggs. And, then whine some more about how all the doctors we talked to last week (CCRM, RMA-NJ, and Shady Grove) all said we should give it one more shot.

But, today...I went in for my Day 3 bloodwork and antral follicle count.

Hold your breath, people. This is freaking Ah-MA-Zing.

On the left: ELEVEN
On the right: SEVEN

That's right, a grand slam total of: EIGHTEEN antral follicles. That's like a NORMAL (ish) 32-year old!!!!

WOW.

Everybody: do than antral count bop!!!

I'm doing it alone in my office and would love some company.

DHEA must be working it's wonders.

I'm supposed to take this month off to do another HSG, but I might see if we can do a cycle NOW and use this amazing follicle count!!! Maybe we could just freeze the embryos, do the HSG next month, and then if normal transfer them.

Whaddya think???