The Best Pictures of Christmas 2009

"More, Grandpa!"

"I totally hate this sweater. Red is NOT my color."

"If only my arms were just a LITTLE bit longer...."

"Ow! It hurts when you bite your finger!"

"I think I ate too many cookies. Look at all this blubber."

"You mean we have to wait until Christmas to open the presents?"

"Why can't I hold the camera? You never let me do what I want!"

"She has no fashion sense. Look! Stripes with plaid! WHAT?"

Official Diagnosis: Amenorrhea

My doctor wanted me to come back in to discuss my bloodwork results. Seems everything was on the low end, but still in the normal range except for my estrogen levels: less than 3pg/ml...women with amenorrhea typically have less than 40 pg/ml.

I can't believe I have this diagnosis. I really thought it was the sort of thing that strikes obsessive compulsive size 0 (no offense to any size 0 readers) non-eating women, not people like me that love to eat...although, to some running 60+ miles a week would appear excessive. But, I know people that run a lot more and weigh a lot less that had no problems conceiving.

I guess this means that a winter marathon is out and I have to cut back on the miles. Grrr. It's frustrating because my sister has the same problem and she's not a crazy runner. Makes me wonder if it isn't the running, but rather something genetic.

The doctor thought that my estrogen levels were so low that Clomid probably won't work on me. She said that we could try a round of clomid and check my FSH levels on Day 22 to see if I ovulated. She thought it would be more likely that I would need Gonadatropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) to get me to ovulate (a cute little shot in the @ss), but she can't prescribe it. Which means I have to go to my *favorite* doctor, my Reproductive Endocrinologist, the @ss. (Just to give you a little vignette of this guy: when he first told us that we were going to have to do IVF, I started to tear up. He looked shocked that I would be upset and suggested I get a therapist. HELLO? You just dashed a patient's hopes of a romantic conception and prescribed fertility treatments flashing dollar signs ranging $10K to 30K! What do you expect???)

I am expecting my husband to give me a hard time. This is MY fault "because of all that running."

I'm sick of doctors, mothers, husbands, EVERYONE always pointing their collective fingers at "running" as the prime suspect in every case!

We'll try Clomid/GnRH shots for the next few months and then use the leftover embryos. I don't want to even think about what will happen if those don't work. Guess I should switch my blog back to IVF Running Mama.

To keep up appearances that this is a running blog:

Weekly Mileage:
December 14, 2009: 9.5 miles
December 15, 2009: 9.5 miles total: 2.5 miles warm-up, 8x800 w/ 400 laps (2:58, 2:53, 2:52, 2:50, 2:47, 2:49, 2:47, 2:51), 1.25 cool down; Body Flow PM
December 16, 2009: 11 miles
December 17, 2009: 9.5 miles, BodyPump
December 18, 2009: 6 miles
December 19, 2009: 10.2 miles in ten inches of snow! Rough! (was supposed to do a 10K, but it was cancelled)
December 20, 2009: 13 miles @ 8 min/mile on my shiny new treadmill!, P90X Abs
Total Mileage: 68.7 miles

I finally figured it out

I've been trying to understand why I am dragging my feet on starting this whole TTC thing again because truly, I'm kind of burned out and don't really want to start running the 20+ mile runs required for marathon training again and wouldn't actually mind being pregnant. I'm actually jealous of those that are...I've been sniffing Nugget's head at night hoping to again find that first whiff of newborn. Trying to cradle my little wriggling mad man who desperately wants nothing but to rip all the books off the shelf.

I realized the other day when emailing Salty One...that I just don't want to go back to that horrible period in my life...ages 28 to 29...where everything revolved around getting pregnant. Granted, this was also the year that I sat at the base of Machu Picchu, listening to the creek rage next to our tent under a dark sky with more stars than I've ever seen, drinking local beer with 10 strangers that had become good friends, and howling over jokes that had been inside secrets over the past three days. It was the year that we went to multiple weddings and drank our way through this right of passage for the majority of our friends. But, my memories of this year were mostly dark. It was the year that I realized that nothing in life can be taken for granted and the images you have when you are a girl of your future: white picket fence, little house, and two kids is not to be expected or deserved. It was the year that I was the crazy lady at work that just couldn't keep it together: bawling uncontrollably one day after we got our first negative result when yet another co-worker turns up pregnant. Living and dying for that double line. Narrowing our focus further and further: no travel, no running, no social events. Just waiting and waiting and waiting.

There is a decision tree you travel down when you face infertility. First, you must come to accept that those months you spent in excited anticipation of actually having sex for its true and intended cause were hopeless, pointless endeavours. Then, you have to accept that your timeline for your life won't be met and that there are things in life over which you have little control. And, last, you have to accept that procreation will be a sex-less antiseptic technical experience between you and your doctor. Eventually, you scream "Uncle" and the process bends your will entirely, forcing you to give up your vanity, your passions, your life.

I'm not ready to bend my will yet. I don't want to stop my life for an unknown quantity of time and turn myself over to this fickle process.

I want to be one of those couples that everyone mentions when I talk about this: "my friend such and such did IVF and they had twins and then six months later she was pregnant again naturally!" I hate these stories because they seem to imply that "if you could just relax, you would get pregnant" or "you're just too impatient and if you waited longer you would get pregnant naturally." No one ever talks about their friends that spent years trying to have children. I assume because these very friends aren't going around talking about the small fortune they have invested in procreation. Because adoption isn't the same. It isn't. You may love that baby, but it didn't come out of you and doesn't look like you. It's not the same experience.

Ah well, I figure by the time I'm done with this experience, I'll have no more readers because my posts are no longer about running and just plain old depressing. Sorry folks. I guess I'm having a little pity party over here and am not quite ready to put down my party horn yet.

Back on TRACK!

I went to my first track workout today since the marathon and IT WAS AWESOME. Must have been the 2 pitchers of Sangria I shared with some girlfriends last night:> I did 8x800 with 400 laps. I ran them in: 2:58, 2:53, 2:52, 2:50, 2:47, 2:49, 2:47, 2:51. I can't believe that I ran them so quickly! I really thought I would be slogging my way back to faster times.

In other news, I spent most of yesterday with Nugget at various doctor's offices trying to figure out if his skull was fractured. Let us be a cautionary tale: never take child shopping around nap time. So, last Sunday, my husband and I went to the mall to try and get some Christmas presents. We'd been there about two hours and knew that we were totally pushing Nugget's nap time, but really wanted to finish shopping in one more store. Nugget was having a total meltdown and NOTHING was distracting him, so my husband let him stand up in his stroller (he is still in the snap n' go carseat stroller). Nugget has a wee bit of a temper and tends to shake things when he is angry, so he was shaking his stroller with all of his might and FLIPPED the stroller over! Nugget did a face plant into the tile floor. Bloody lip, bloody nose, bruised forehead, and SCREAMING. After about ten minutes, he calmed down. Not wanting to be a paranoid mom, I figured he was fine since his pupils were the same size and he calmed down. A little on-line research when we got home confirmed that he didn't have any of the warning signs for a concussion. Fast forward one week...Nugget's lump is getting LARGER and LARGER. I'm trying not to be worried about it...but....it's looking pretty nasty. Even my husband is worried about it! This past Sunday, my parents stopped by on their way home from a trip to NYC. Mom took one look at it and said I should take him to the doctor first thing Monday morning. Given that she's not one to freak out about these things, I caved and decided to take him in. His pediatrician didn't think there was anything wrong, but she wasn't 100 percent sure as she felt a ridge which might indicate a skull fracture. So, we got x-rays. Holding baby still while screaming in an uncomfortable position totally SUCKS. But, he's fine and will likely have this nice little goose-egg on his head for the next few months.

In other news, my OBGyn called me today. She wants me to come back in to discuss my blood test results. Seems my estrogen levels are low and she wants to talk about how we're going to proceed with TTC. Hubby and I have been fighting about trying. Post-awesome workout today, I'm really curious about whether my training is just going to keep improving and I might be able to run a faster marathon. Hubby doesn't think that we should postpone for three months for me to run the marathon because we don't know how long it is going to take to get pregnant again and he wants to have our kids close together in age. Arg. I don't know what to do.

Resolution ACHIEVED!

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you have now was once among the things only hoped for." Epicurus


One of my big resolutions for 2009 was to make running friends. I have been running alone for the past 8 years and...it's just not as much fun as having a running group. For those of you all that have been following me all year, you'll remember how I stalked people at races who finished around me to try to find a running partner. I struggled with chosing between "Ironwoman" and "Chill Runner" and, in the end, neither worked out. I tried running with two different running groups and finally, in the spring, I started running with a third group and found my groove.

Weekly Mileage
Monday, December 7, 2009: 10.2 miles, Body Flow
Tuesday, December 8, 2009: 10.2 miles
Wednesday, December 9, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical, P90X Abs
Thursday, December 10, 2009: 10.2 miles, CHRISTMAS PARTYING!
Friday, December 11, 2009: 10.2 miles, P90X Abs
Saturday, December 12, 2009: 12 miles, CHRISTMAS PARTYING!
Sunday, December 13, 2009: 12 miles @ 5:30 am...I couldn't sleep....
Total Mileage: 64.8 Miles

My goal for the next week until I get knocked up is to do Abs 3x a week, Yoga 1x a week, and Weights 1-2X a week. We'll see how that works out now that I'm starting to train again!! First track workout on Tuesday.

It's Been a Good Year

All this time off from running has given me so much space in my life to sleep, reflect, etc.

A couple of reflections on the Fall Marathon:
--Perhaps the most rewarding aspect of the race was that I feel like my parents now appreciate that running is important to me and that I am decent at it. My parents are deeply practical and don't see the value in running as it doesn't produce anything tangible. But, if you look closely at the pictures of me with the finalists, you can see my mother beaming in the sidelines. She called me on the Monday after the race and told me she felt like a celebrity at work because everyone kept congratulating her about my finish (one of her colleagues ran the race). I think something clicked for my parents that weekend and I doubt that they will be giving me a hard time for my "selfish hobby" of running any more.
--Running a marathon is WAY easier than having a baby. While painful, there are so many unknowns while in labor. With a marathon, you can count down the miles and know exactly how much longer you have to push yourself. I remember asking repeatedly during the 2.5 hours I spent pushing out Nugget (after 30 hours of labor) how many more pushes I was going to have to do. The doula said "5" just to shut me up. The principle of pacing yourself and giving it all at the end doesn't convey during labor. You are in an all out sprint until the end.
--My sister, who I convinced that running the 1/2 marathon would be a good way to distract herself after losing her job this past spring (d@mn recession) sent me a note after the marathon saying, "thank you for introducing me to this new way of life." Running is a way of life, an organizing principle for how I live and the closest thing I have to religion.

It's been an awesome year of running. I ran 7 races and I placed in 6 of them: top 10 for two, top 5 for two, first place for two. I have more medals than I know what to do with! Plus, I won $450! Not enough to justify the ridiculous amount of money I spend on shoes, massages, etc...ha.

All this being said....

I'm on my fourth week of no heavy running/speedwork and still not feeling motivated about running in 2010. I'm having a hard time getting excited about doing those d@mn long runs in the winter and really don't want to commit to any races if I'm hoping to get pregnant. But, if I don't commit/train and don't get pregnant, I'm really going to be pissed. If I want to run a marathon in March, I have to do my first 20 mile run in January. Ug, I cringe even thinking about it. There's another marathon in April...but might be too hilly. I'm so irritated with myself!!

Weekly Mileage
Monday, November 30, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical, Body Flow
Tuesday, December 1, 2009: 10.2 miles, 45 minutes of P90x Yoga workout
Wednesday, December 2, 2009: 10.2 miles, P90x Abs workout
Thursday, December 3, 2009: 10.2 miles
Friday, December 4, 2009: 9.5 miles, P90x Abs workout
Saturday, December 5, 2009: 75 minutes elliptical
Sunday, December 6, 2009: 12 miles, P90x Abs workout
Total Mileage: 52.1 miles

Remember Why You're Here

This post isn't going to be existential or anything....:>

While I was running the Fall Marathon, there was a sign around mile 23 that said "Remember all the reasons that brought you here today." And, for the life of me, I could not remember one d@mn reason to run 26.2 miles. Even though the marathon was three weeks ago, I keep thinking about that stupid little sign.

WHY do I run marathons? To push myself to my physical limits? So I can eat a TON of food after my long runs? Because I love the comradery that comes with training? To give myself a goal to strive towards? Because I'm a pretty good runner and winning is a source of self confidence? All the endorphins?

For many years, I didn't run marathons or races at all for that matter. I actually quite enjoyed sleeping in with my husband and fitting in my exercise whenever rather than fitting my life around my exercise. I liked doing the elliptical and reading books when I didn't feel like running. I liked that there was no pressure to perform.

Now that I've run my sub-3 hour marathon, I find myself at a cross roads. Had I done better in the race (a 2:55 or below), then I would have definitely wanted to try to qualify for the olympics. But, I didn't. And, I really don't think that I could have pushed myself any harder. I'm sure that I could have trained more. Most of my weekly mileage was in the 65-73 range. But, eh. Now, Nugget is starting to wean (wouldn't eat from my boob at all today) and he's not quite a little baby anymore and I have that craving again for a little baby. We always hoped to have our children close together. And, I've started to think, why not? Why not just start trying again and get it over with? I can concentrate on running some shorter races and a half-marathon in February or March and just plan on running another marathon post baby #2. Plus, I kind of like not having the pressing load of a training schedule and sleeping in and just fitting in exercise whenever. It's easier.

Who knows. Maybe once work eases up (I've been working full time for the past month and should be going back to part-time once we get out project done), I'll crave more challenge. I told myself that I would give myself one month off of training before I started thinking about it again.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, November 23, 2009: 7 miles, Body Flow
Tuesday, November 24, 2009: 9 miles
Wednesday, November 25, 2009: 75 minutes elliptical
Thursday, November 26, 2009: 11 miles
Friday, November 27, 2009: 11 miles
Saturday, November 28, 2009: 85 minutes elliptical (too busy reading Eclipse of the Twilight series to get off)
Sunday, November 29, 2009: 12 miles
Total Mileage: 50 miles

What I'm Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

When we went around the table to say what we were thankful for today...other than my healthy happy little man sleeping through the night (7/7:30 pm to 4/5am and then again until 7/8 am!)...

All I could think was:

I am thankful that my husband got good test results back this week! Probably not best to talk about the results of a sperm analysis at the dinner table, but still, I'm thankful. Everything's on the low end of normal, but we're in "normal land" now, which is more than we could say two years ago.

Now we just have two little issues to work out...

1. no period and other anatomical issues
2. what to do about our frosties

I'm going to my obgyn to discuss the first issue in two weeks.

The second issue is an ethical issue that my husband and I disagree about. I view my two frozen embryos as unborn babies. My husband views them as frozen cells. He'd like to try to have kids naturally. I don't want my babies to get tossed out in the trash. My husband tries to reduce it to a cost issue, but I feel that is taking the easier route.

Reading Twilight Vs. Running: A TOUGH Call!

Just wanted to do my weekly mileage before I forget....Um, is it bad that I'd rather read the Twilight series on the elliptical than run??? I finished the first book in 3 reads on the elliptical...and I'm so conflicted! My sister has the 2nd book in the series, but I don't know if I can wait until Christmas to get it!! I am totally tempted to buy it!

MARATHON WEEK! Mileage:
Monday, November 9, 2009: 6.5 miles
Tuesday, November 10, 2009: 4.5 miles? 1 mile WU, 1x1600 (5:40), 800 jog, 4 x 400 (can't remember pace), 200 jogs, 1 mile CD
Wednesday, November 11, 2009: 3 miles
Thursday, November 12, 2009: NADA
Friday, November 13, 2009: 3 miles
Saturday, November 14, 2009: A WHOLE FREAKING MARATHON!!
Sunday, November 15, 2009: Massive number of "arm crunches," i.e. lifting food to mouth
Total Mileage: 39.2 miles

Post-Marathon Weekly Mileage:
Monday, November 16, 2009: Body Flow
Tuesday, November 17, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Wednesday, November 18, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Thursday, November 19, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical and Body Pump
Friday, November 20, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Saturday, November 21, 2009: 75 minutes elliptical (got too involved in Twilight!)
Sunday, November 22, 2009: 11 slow @ss miles

I was so excited to go to BodyPump for the first time in about SIX MONTHS! While I was taking the class, I didn't know whether to be excited or depressed that I could still lift the same amount of weight that I did before 6-month hiatus. Um, yeah, I'm totally sore four days later and had a hard time running yesterday and today because my hamstrings hurt so much!

ALSO! Guess what! I BOUGHT A TREADMILL THIS WEEKEND! Can I tell you how excited I am??? I got: http://www.treadmilldoctor.com/Pacemaster-Gold-Elite-VR-Treadmill-Review-09

WOOHOO! Now my wimpy little butt doesn't have to go out when it is cold and icy any more!

Post Race Ennui

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally elated to have gotten in under 3 hours and placed in Richmond, but...

Now what?

I wish I could decide.

Do I train for another marathon? Do I try to have another kid?

This decision is complicated by our fertility issues. Hubby is supposed to be getting back his test results "any day now" so we will know whether we have to do IVF again or whether we *might* be able to conceive naturally. I guess my post-race depression is more about starting fertility treatments again. It was manageable. I can do it.

But, I am dreading it. The bloated ovaries and daily hormone shots. Having someone other than my husband shoving things up my uterus. Another clinical conception. The two week wait for the results. The fear of a negative result and thinking about having to go through all of it again. The money. The insurance fights. The feeling that my body has failed me. The jealousy of people that conceived naturally. The desire to be "normal" and "natural." The inevitable fights with my husband because I (irrationally) get angry that I am the one having to carry the burden of this.

Of course, we do have two frozen embryos, so for my first round I wouldn't have egg retrieval, which is an uncomfortable surgery.

And then there is the worry that we will get twins if we do fertility treatments again. The costs both physically and financially of doing so. Frozen embryos have a greater success rate and higher probability of twins.

I hate this waiting. I like decisions and life to be in neat little boxes with bows. Not nebulous and unanswered.

Marathon Race Report: Sub 3 hours!

So, as Coach directed, I started out slow, doing my first 10K at 7min-6:50 pace. I felt great. The crowds were great. The rain was slowing down. Life was GOOD! I LOVE MARATHONS!

A couple miles later...around the 12 mile mark...I'm realizing that my legs ain't feeling so great and my hamstrings are hurting and I haven't picked up the pace quite enough. At the 1/2 marathon mark, I hit 1:29, which is 2 minutes slower than I wanted to be. I saw Coach around then and he said that I looked strong and that I was the 12th woman. I didn't feel strong. In fact, I felt pretty crappy and was reminiscing about my 21+ long runs where I felt awesome the entire time. I was kind of bumming out, thinking that I wasn't going to even hit the 3 hour mark which was my bare minimum goal. And, then...one of the women in front of me ran off to take a potty break...and I thought, well, maybe I can get in the top ten women. I shortly thereafter passed woman number 11 around mile 14.

From 14 to 20 I struggled and the next woman in sight was way ahead of me. I hit 20 miles at 2:15 and thought if I can just keep a 7:30 pace I can at least hit the 3 hour mark. But, my legs were dying. I had totally hit the wall around mile 16 and felt like the earth's gravitational pull had grown infinitely stronger. But, I didn't want to get home and think that I'd given up on this "one chance." So, I decided to focus on beating the next woman. In quick succession, I passed Ms. 10 and Ms. 9 at mile 21! I passed Ms. 8 somewhere in between 21 and 22. And, Ms. 7 and Ms. 6 died at the mile 23 aid station. I just had to beat Ms. 5....the woman in turquiose ahead of me. I'm not sure what I looked like, but I certainly felt like hell...until one woman screamed: "Number XXX, You are my hero!!" Heart leaping, I picked up the pace and passed Ms. 5 at mile 23.5 and was running scared until the end! For every person that passed me, I'd say a little prayer: please be a man, please be a man!

At mile 26, I was dying...the clock was ticking...and my heart was sinking. While I was at least in the top 5 women, I didn't think I'd make it under the 3-hour mark. As I made the final descent down to the finish at mile 26, I saw my coach and he screamed "you're at 2:58! If you book it down this hill you can make it under three hours!!" AND I RAN MY FREAKING HEART OUT!

I made it with 20 seconds to spare. It was pretty cool getting to stand up on the podium with the winners...

The rest of the day I was unabashedly telling anyone and everyone that I got 5th place. I'm sure that there are some "real" runners that would have been embarrassed to go touting their sub gold finish, but heck! I was just happy to make it to the top five!

I felt so lucky to have awesome support druing the race. I saw my husband, son, father, and mother four times around the course and my coach three times! In my own internal "acceptance" speech for my 5th place and sub-3 hour finish, I can't thank my husband enough for all of his support and altered work schedules and my coach and new running friends for the awesome company and advice!

2:59..just barely scraped by!

I'll post more later, but got 2:59!

High Anxiety

My legs felt DEAD this past weekend and it is scaring the crap out of me. I ran 12 miles on Saturday and couldn't seem to get my legs to go much faster than an 8:30-8:45 pace. WHAT is going on? I felt awesome last Tuesday? Do I need more iron? Protein? Lord knows I get enough carbs. Only five more days until the race! I can't be feeling like this!

In addition, work is on overload. I worked all day yesterday, YES SUNDAY, and am going to be working late again tonight. This is NOT cool. Plus, now I'm worried that I am going to be working Veteran's Day AND Friday. We were supposed to be leaving early so that we could get to Richmond by 1 or 2 on Friday to give us plenty of time beat traffic and to pick-up the packet and hang out. Arg.

Any suggestions on how to get the oomph back in my legs? I've just been running really easy mileage and have cut back.

Last Week's Mileage:
Monday, November 2, 2009: 6 miles
Tuesday, November 3, 2009: 8 miles total: 1 mile WU, 1 x 3200 (11:41), 1600 lap, 1 x 1600 (5:40), 800 lap, 800 (2:51), 2 miles CD
Wednesday, November 4, 2009: 8.5 miles
Thursday, November 5, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Friday, November 6, 2009: 6 miles: 0.5 mile WU, 5k @ 6:25 pace, 2.25 mile CD
Saturday, November 7, 2009: 12 miles @ 8:30-8:45 pace
Sunday, November 8, 2009: 8.5 miles
Total Mileage: 49 miles

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUGGET!!

You have opened up my heart in more ways than I could have imagined.

The mind is weak, but the body is strong.

Lately, I've just been feeling sick of running. I hate getting up in the morning because I am so tired because the little man hasn't been sleeping well. Plus, it's been raining a lot. I'm fine running in the rain when it's warm, but when it's cold....that's a whole different matter. So, I've been kind of a grumpy runner lately. While my mental state hasn't been the greatest in terms of running, my body is rocking it! I've been whipping out some good workouts. Today, I even ran a 5:40 mile without even really feeling like I was pushing it. Seems my legs really like the rest (and perhaps all the Halloween candy and pumpkin cookies) they've been getting. I'm really feeling good about the marathon and am looking forward to seeing how I do. I'm very hopeful that I can break the 3 hour mark!

Weekly Mileage
Monday, October 26, 2009: 8.5 miles
Tuesday, October 27, 2009: 8.5 miles: 1 mile WU, 4 x 1600 w/ 800 jogs (5:52, 5:52, 5:50, 5:53), 2 mile CD
Wednesday, October 28, 2009: 10.2 miles
Thursday, October 29, 2009: Body Flow (too tired to get up in AM & run)
Friday, October 30, 2009: 9 miles: 2.5 mile WU, 5 mile templo (6:22, 6:22, 6:20, 6:20, 6:18), 2.5 mile CD
Saturday, October 31, 2009: 16 miles @ 7:04 average
Sunday, November 1, 2009: 10.8 miles
Total Mileage: 63 miles

Athletic Thighs

I've been trying to get into the "skinny jean" trend and I just think it doesn't work for my legs! I have a hard enough time finding "bootcut" pants that fit my thighs! Everything that I find fits my waist is WAAAAYY to tight in the quad area and everything that fits my quads/thighs is WAAAAYY to big in the butt/waist area. What is an athletic girl to do?? I know...never wear anything but yoga pants! Unfortunately, not realistic for the days when I can't telecommute.

Nothing else much to post about. T-7 days until Nathan's first birthday! Yeah!

It's All Down Hill From Here!

This week was my peak week...nothing but lower mileage from here on out! Woohoo! Less running=more time for sleep!

Weekly Mileage
Monday, October 19, 2009: 8.5 miles
Tuesday, October 20, 2009: ~9 miles: 1 mile WU, 5 x 1200 (4:28, 4:29, 4:27, 4:28, 4:17) (w/ 600 jogs), 2 miles CD
Wednesday, October 21, 2009: 11 miles am, 3 miles pm
Thursday, October 22, 2009: 9 miles
Friday, October 23, 2009: 10 miles: 1 mile WU, 10K @ 6:27 pace, 3 mile CD
Saturday, October 24, 2009: 21.2 miles (15 miles 8-9 min pace, 6 miles 6:50-7:30 pace)
Sunday, October 25, 2009: 10.2 miles
Total Mileage: 82 miles!

Highlights of this week:
--Made an amazing meal (grilled chicken, salad, and rice) and got drunk off 2 glasses of wine with hubby on the back porch, enjoying one of the last few warm fall nights we might have
--Watched a pink and orange sun rise while doing a 10K at the track;
--Made a second awesome meal--salmon and wheatberry salad--and caught with an old friend from high school while hubby worked late
--Found the best book ever for Nathan: "Tails" by Matthew Van Fleet (he LOVED petting all the tails), but was unsuccessful in replacing "Pat the Bunny" as his favorite book
--Had fun meeting a couple with a cute daughter about Nathan's age at the Farmer's Market; we watched our kids eat dirt and crawl all over the pumpkins
--Accomplished absolutely nothing off our to-do list, oh well!

Marathon Goal Pace?

I talked to coach today about what pace to set myself at the Fall Marathon. I was thinking 3:05-3:10 might be a realistic goal for me. He seems to think that I could run 2:55 or under. I don't know what he's smokin', but maybe I'll start out a a little under 7 min pace and see if I can keep that pace or go faster. That would put me at 3:03 if I just kept that pace. Coach's big mantra is "start slow, finish fast." Given that I tend to kill myself at the beginning of all my races and then die the last few miles, maybe he's right. I'm trying really hard to remember my last marathons, but I didn't really go into them with a goal time or pace plan. I believe I whipped out some fast miles (6:30 and below) at the beginning of a marathon in 2005, but then died at the end (I believe I finished in 3:16). So, we'll see.

I probably shouldn't do this, but I am guestimating what I can do in the marathon based on how other people I run with are doing in their fall marathons. They have a lot more experience than I do in marathons, so maybe they'll do better than I could given that they are more familiar with the strain, stress, and pacing of running a marathon. There's one girl running a marathon this weekend that I think would be my most likely match. We'll see. I'm excited to go cheer for people that I know at the race; it looks like they'll have pretty good weather on Sunday (unfortunately, nothing but rain for my 20 mile run tomorrow).

In other news, Nugget has been crying when I drop him off at daycare the past two days. It makes me feel as if my heart is breaking in a thousand pieces. Maybe I need to make sure that I have a good hour of quality time with him in the morning? It's usually only 20 minutes of feeding him breakfast, 20 minutes of nursing, 15 minutes of playing. Other than the nursing, I'm usually distracted and doing other things (like eating my own breakfast or getting dressed). Maybe he's more needy because we've been sleep training this week. Or, maybe he just still doesn't feel good. I don't know. It's the worst feeling in the world to walk away from your crying baby.

Nugget's Latest Tricks

Nugget's developing quite a little personality and has developed some, shall we say, "quirks":

--Nugget likes to put plastic bags (or really anything) in his hands and push them around the hardwood floor. I think it helps him crawl faster.

--Nugget has started feeding the dogs. He'll reach his hands out to the side of his high chair and let both dogs lick the food out of his hands and then laughs and laughs. Right now it's cute, but I was thinking this morning as Nugget threw 99% of his food on the floor that I should start disciplining him. He laughs at me when I say "no," what to do???

--Nugget has been rocking his head up and down, left and right, and then laughing. I'm not sure if he associates "yes" or "no" with these moves, but when he is full he shakes his head left and right.

--Nugget loves it when you "hide" behind objects or when anything obstructs part of your face from his view. He cracks up when he's in the crib and I lean down and smile at him through the slats.

--Nugget's favorite book is "Pat the Bunny," which I object to on many levels, but I read it because it's the only book that he will sit still for. For one thing, do we really want our child to "do everything that Paul and Judy can?" He can be seen dragging it all over the house, occassionally licking Pat the Bunny. Perhaps he spends too much time with the dogs?

22 miles--check

I had a great 22 mile run today at an average of 7:27 pace. The last 10 were at 6:50-7:11 pace, so I'm feeling really confident about running the marathon. And, all this on less than 5 hours of sleep. I'm treating myself to a massage today after an AWFUL week with baby. I seriously self-medicated with 2 bottles of wine this week. On Friday, he cried for four hours straight. It was awful. Of course, he was happy and smiling when hubby left for work and when he got home, so hubby said, "looks like he's feeling better." If I could thrown the sofa at him, I would have. Today Nathan's covered in a rash, but it doesn't appear to be itching him. I hope I can take him to daycare tomorrow because I really can't afford to miss any more work. I've totally obliterated my sick leave balance. Ug.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, October 12, 2009: 10 miles, BodyFlow
Tuesday, October 13, 2009: 9 miles: 2 mile warm-up, 1 x 1600 (5:58), 800 jog, 1 x 1200 (?), 600 jog, 4 x 800 (2:48, 2:50, 2:51, 2:51) w/ 400 jogs, 1 x 400 (1:27), 2.25 cool-down
Wednesday, October 14, 2009: 11 miles
Thurday, October 15, 2009: nada...too exhausted b/c was up all night w/ baby
Friday, October 16, 2009: 9 miles: 1.25 miles warm-up, 5 miles (32:18), 3.75 miles cool-down
Saturday, October 17, 2009: 11 miles
Sunday, October 18, 2009: 22 miles @ 7:27 pace (last 10 miles at 6:50-7:11 pace)
Total Mileage: 72 miles

So, I'm trying to decide what to run next weekend. Ideally my last 20 mile run should be 3 weeks before the marathon (next weekend), but I just did 22 miles this week. Coach said to see how I felt next weekend and cut it short if I am too tired. I'd like to do this final 20 mile because I'd like to fit in 5 20 mile(ish) runs before the marathon. I'm feeling really strong and hopeful that this will be a good race for me.

Sick Baby

We're on Day Four of the temperature that won't go away. Nugget was STEAMING last night with a 103.7 temperature. He doesn't seem to be responding to Baby Tylenol or Motrin and is MISERABLE. Which, in turn, means that everyone else is miserable. I'm freaking out because I had a TON of work to do this week and haven't been in at all. Hubby and I have been fighting because I am so stressed out and am angry that my job is the one getting the shaft. Part of me thinks it is reasonable, given that I am only working part-time and his salary is 1/3rd more than mine, but the other part of me feels like it's really unfair.

I've been pretty good about keeping up with the running despite only 2-6 hours of sleep, but today I caved and skipped my run because I couldn't bear to get up at 6 am after only getting 2 hours of sleep. I was hoping to hit 80 miles this week, but *sigh* oh well. Baby and mommy's rest are more important.

Feeling Light and Fit (Finally!)

I'm feeling AWESOME these days. Only 5 more weeks! I'm hopeful that I'll be able to run a sub-3 hr marathon, but I think realistically, I'll probably run 3:05-3:15. We'll see. I've been hitting the 3-hr times right on the dot in my track workouts.

Weekly Mileage:

Monday, October 5, 2009: 6 miles

Tuesday, October 6, 2009: 1.25 miles warm-up, 1x1600, 1x1200, 2x800, 1x400, 2.5 mile cool-down (about 9 miles total)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009: 11 miles am, 3 miles pm

Thursday, October 8, 2009: 9 miles am

Friday, October 9, 2009: 9 miles w/ 5 miles @ 6:35 pace; 3 miles pm

Saturday, October 10, 2009: 16 miles w/ 8 miles at 7:00 pace

Sunday, October 11, 2009: 9 miles

Total Mileage: 75 miles

And, we're making progress on the house...one room down and ten to go. See Nathan's new bedroom (which is 80% finished)!

Highest Mileage EVER!

I really like my coach and I am so happy to have found people to run with. At my tempo run this past week, people were cheering me on and it felt so great to have a group of people to train with.

I bought a training book by Brad Hudson titled "Run Faster." Embarrassingly, I've never read a book about HOW to train for a marathon. For my prior marathons, I just downloaded a training plan from Runner's World or WHEREVER and implemented them. These plans typically didn't involve any speedwork (on my part). I just ran how I felt and never tried to push myself (with the exception of my training for the 1/2 marathon this past spring). In order to get better, I'm realizing that I have to do something different and really push my body. I'll let you know what I think of the book.

So, hubby and I have kind of been fighting lately about when we want to start trying to Baby II. I kind of want to run ONE more marathon (after Fall Marathon) in March/April before we start TTCing again. Husband wants to start trying NOW. Seriously. He said that I could run the Fall Marathon pregnant. I guess I'm just not really ready and don't feel entirely recovered from this past pregnancy. I mean, I still ache "down there" after a long hard run. And, I haven't really done any ab work post baby and let's just say that my stomach is no longer parallel to my body. I'd like these things to be resolved before we start trying again. But, I guess I'm not getting any younger...and if it takes a while again, I'd kick myself if I didn't begin sooner rather than later given the stats for fertility treatments and age. More for another blog post...

In other news, I ran more miles this week than I EVER have! I topped it off with an awesome 21-mile run @ 7:30 pace. I finally feel like I'm getting back into the swing of things and am going to be ready for the marathon in SIX WEEKS! I had hoped to put in some double workouts to get my total mileage up to 80ish, but babe wasn't sleeping this past week and I was too exhausted.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, September 28, 2009: 6 miles w/ jogging stroller
Tuesday, September 29, 2009: 1.25 mile warm up, 1 x 1600, 2 x 1200, 2 x 800, 1 x 400 2.5 mile cool down (~8.5 miles)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009: 11 miles
Thursday, October 1, 2009: 10.2 miles
Friday, October 2, 2009: 1.5 mile warm up, 10 K @ 39:31, 1.5 mile cool down
Saturday, October 3, 2009: 11 miles
Sunday, October 4, 2009: 21 miles @ ~7:30 pace
Total Mileage: ~76.7 miles

Previous Weekly Mileage:
Monday, September 21, 2009: 4.25 miles w/ jogging stroller
Tuesday, September 22, 2009: 1.75 warm-up, 6 x 800, 2.75 cool down (~8.5 miles)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009: 11 miles am/ 3 miles pm
Thursday, September 24, 2009: 9 miles am
Friday, September 25, 2009: 9 miles am w/ 4 @ 6:08 / 3.5 miles pm
Saturday, September 26, 2009: 10 miles
Sunday, September 27, 2009: 16 miles w/ 8 @ 8:08, 2 @ 6:30, 2 @ 6:48 (not sure about the rest)
Total Mileage: ~74.5 miles

Mommy Wars

I have been hemming and hawing about asking my boss about whether I could continue working part-time. I'm so conflicted about it...part of me thinks that I could work full-time, another really likes the balance that working part-time allows me, and then there is a niggling minority that thinks I could really love staying home.

I went to a baby shower for a friend that was having her 2nd baby last weekend. I didn't know many of the other attendees, but they were all moms. About mid-way through the party, I realized that I was the ONLY one that didn't stay home. The other mothers were talking about how they typically go over to each other's house in the morning after breakfast to chat over coffee. I imagine them sitting on the sofa, giggling over coffee and eating scones in their yoga clothes. Then, I juxtapose this image with me, frantically trying to get dressed for work with Nathan resting on my jutted out hip and then teetering down the sidewalk to the car carrying three bags + crying infant.

Part of me felt jealous about how easy that sort of life sounded.

To be able to eat breakfast and load the dishes and play with your baby rather than trying to cram it all in while holding a baby who doesn't want to be put down because he's trying to spend as much time as possible touching you while you are home.

Then, I thought about how I sometimes count down the 2.5 hours I have him before dropping him off at day care. 45 minutes in the high chair pleading with him to eat anything other than ricecakes and yogurt. 10 minutes wrestling him to get his diaper on while he rolls over multiple times laughing as feces gets all over the changing table. (Then again...there's the 20 minutes we spend laughing and rolling and kissing each other in the bed when he first wakes up.) I wonder how I would make it through a whole day of no alone time and no ability to really get anything accomplished because you have a very demanding little boss that wants your full attention. No mommy, no email because I will eat the computer cord. No mommy, you can't put away the dishes because I'm hanging on your legs wailing until you pick me up. No mommy, you can't fold the laundry because I am trying to crawl DOWN the stairs.

After mentioning that I worked part-time, I felt an icy-ness from several of the moms at the party. An underlying, "how could you let someone else raise your baby?" and "don't you understand that your god-given role is to take care of your children?" But, this might have been my own paranoia. They might have thought I had the same judgements for them: "there's nothing in your life other than your children" or "you took the easy way out." I try not to judge as I think I can easily see myself in multiple scenarios...staying home, working full-time, working part-time. In fact, I imagine that I will do all three at some point in my life. It was just a different experience for me to feel so judged.

On the flip side, I met my new neighbor and it somehow came up that I worked part-time. Immediately, I saw myself being plopped in the "other" category as she emphatically says, "oh, I work FULL time." As in, the "you can never complain to me about how tired or stressed out you are because you have no idea what it is like to be a full-time working mom" category.

I guess we all feel judged. It makes me sad that we draw these arbitrary lines because essentially we are all moms trying to do the best for our babies.

Yesterday, I asked my boss if I could continue working part-time until my son was 3 or 4. He was fully supportive. I still feel ambivalent about it...but hope in time I will settle into my decision.

M.I.A.

Sorry I've been M.I.A. We've been moving and getting the old house ready for the renters for the past two weekends and unpacking every night after work. I never want to move again. NEVER. Seriously. I feel like we're camping right now and I only know where about half of my belongings are. And, genius that I am, decided that selling our dining room table on Craig's List before we moved would be a good incentive for us to get on the ball about buying a new dining room set. NOT smart. We've been eating off a lovely card board table for the past two weeks surrounded by all of our china packed up in beautiful brown boxes. We're classy like that.

I've been running some pretty good mileage, though and the hip/quad issue seems to be on the mend. Er, well, at least the injury has moved to a new place. My inner thigh...right up by the pubic bone. Which was VERY embarrassing to get worked out by my physical therapist. I was able to complete my first full track workout since July, though, and think that I may be OK in the Fall Marathon. We'll see.

Will update more later!

First 20 Miles and an Ice Bath!

Things seem to actually be getting better with the quad...although I have lost a lot of fitness in the past 5 weeks. I was able to hobble through a 20 mile run today at a 7:56 pace. I couldn't keep up with the fast folks who were pumping out 7-7:30 miles. So, maybe I will be OK with the Fall marathon...I still have 9 weeks. I'm still not doing any speed work except tempos as per Coach's advice.

I did something today I haven't had the guts to do...an ice bath. It was freaking miserable for the first 5 minutes, but I told myself that if I can have a baby, I can stand cold water for 5 minutes. Plus, all of you other ladies are doing them, so I have to (wo)man up! I can't really tell if it made a difference in my recovery, though.

Here's my weekly mileage for the past two weeks:

Monday, August 31, 2009: 7 miles
Tuesday, September 1, 2009: 9.4 miles
Wednesday, September 2, 2009: 10 miles
Thursday, September 3, 2009: 8.6 miles
Friday, September 4, 2009: 6 miles w/ 3 @ 6:15 pace
Saturday, September 5, 2009: 8.6 miles
Sunday, September 6, 2009: 18.5-19.5 miles @ some really really slow pace; it was all freaking up hill!
Total Mileage: ~68.6 miles

Monday, September 7, 2009: complete rest day b/c was exhausted from long run
Tuesday, September 8, 2009: 9.4 miles
Wednesday, September 9, 2009: 9.4 miles am/4.4 miles pm
Thursday, September 10, 2009: 9 miles
Friday, September 11, 2009: 10 miles
Saturday, September 12, 2009: 8.6 miles
Sunday, September 13, 2009: 20 miles @ 7:56 pace
Total Mileage: 70.8 miles (first time breaking 70 miles ever!)

Jane and Tarzan....and CHEETA!

Hi Folks--

I've been a boring blogger lately. Between buying the new house, renting out the old house, and moving; leading a project at work; and being utterly depressed about my lack of progress with the quad issue, I haven't had much to say. I've been able to run, but no speedwork and I usually have a bit of IT irritation after.

I've been a bit heartbroken about this whole quad issue. I remember now why I stopped training 8 years ago. It's so hard to want something, but be unable to physically realize this dream and completely out of control. I was so jealous last week at track of all the healthy runners that were so much stronger at practice than they were 1 month ago. This fall marathon was supposed to be my "one chance" to really train hard and get a sub-3 hr marathon. I was hoping to start trying for number two in January, but now am considering trying for a spring marathon and delaying the procreation process. I guess I shouldn't give up hope. If I run the Fall Marathon (still undecided), I still have 10 weeks.

In other, VERY exciting news...I got Nugget's Halloween costume yesterday....the over-priced monkey suit from One Step Ahead. I LOVE it. Nugget had a different opinion...he spent the 5 minutes I had him in it clawing maniacally at his head. I tried to get a picture, but he was too squiggly. Will post on my next attempt. Hubby has been trying to convince me that we should be "Jane, Tarzan and Cheetah." Um, not going to happen in October. Unless he wants to be Jane. Think we might scare the trick-or-treaters?

Bad bad girl

I did not take it easy last week.

Monday, August 24, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical

Tuesday, August 25, 2009: 10 miles, Body Flow

Wednesday, August 26, 2009: 8.6 miles am, 2.8 miles pm

Thursday, August 27, 2009: 9.4 miles

Friday, August 28, 2009: 10 miles

Saturday, August 29, 2009: 16 miles @ 8:30 pace

Sunday, August 30, 2009: 8.6 miles

Total Miles: 65.4 miles

The quad is feeling pretty good. It kind of ached towards the end of the long run, but yesterday and today it has been feeling great! So, hopefully I am on the mend and will be able to do my first tempo run in a month this Friday. I still haven't decided which marathon I am going to run. I've kind of given up hope on getting sub-3 hrs at this point.

In other news, I think we have rented out our house to a Navy family for the next three years, which is AWESOME. The thought of carrying two mortgages until we could rent out this house has really been weighing on my mind. We close on the new house in 8 days (yipes!) and I have a grand total of ZERO boxes packed. I'm hoping to make good progress this weekend with my mother-in-law here to babysit.

Nugget also has a terrible eye and ear infection. He's quite miserable, poor guy. The grossest thing is that when he sneezes green snot comes out of his tear duct. We just started him on amoxicillin, which I am a little freaked out about because hubby had an anaphylactic response to it as a child. I think I might have Nugget sleep in bed with us so that I don't have to worry about him all night.

And she's BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

The quad is feeling much better and I have been able to run the past three days. I'm having a hard time keeping my running in check...in fact, I've already run 30 miles this week and did my first DOUBLE ever yesterday. Ran 8.6 in the am and 2.8 in the pm. I loved it! I'm going to try and do a double on Sunday, too. I hope to work up to 3 or 4 doubles a week, but I'm going to take a few weeks to build up to it. I'm going to run 14 or 15 this weekend and see how it goes. My inner quad is bothering me a bit, but it doesn't hurt post-run and it isn't affecting my stride, so I'm hoping that it will go away in a few days.

Now, I have to decide which marathon to run. Coach still thinks that I can run the earlier Fall Marathon well, but psychologically (and maybe physiologically) I think I would be better prepared for other Fall Marathon, which is 3 weeks later.

Here are the Pro's and Cons. Please help me choose!!

Earlier Fall Marathon
Pros: Will have others to train with; lots of local support to cheer me on through the race; will be able to sleep in my own bed; will complete a marathon before Nugget's first birthday
Cons: Less time to train!!; weather may be warmer than other Marathon; will have to miss a good friend's wedding

Later Fall Marathon
Pros: Will have 3 more weeks to train; weather may be cooler; will be the first time that I have run this marathon in 9 years (it was my first marathon); will be able to sleep at my parents or sister's house; will get to attend a good friend's wedding
Cons: Will have to travel down to marathon; no-one to train with; prolong the training season when hubby is ready for a break;coach pulled in a favor to get me a comp entry in other marathon and I'll feel guilty not using it

Also, we're FINALLY going to have room in the new house for a treadmill. Do you guys have any treadmills that you recommend?

I'm also trying to figure out how long to breastfeed Nugget. I've already had to supplement with formula for the past two months because he drinks WAY more at day care than I produce. I like it...the soft tug of him suckling, our special time together. I think in some ways I also see it as the end of his baby stage and I'm not quite ready to let it go. My original goal was one year...it's only two months and one week away....

Have you all started thinking about birthday themes, yet??? I've been checking out birthday banners on Etsy....

Still on the bench

I am going crazy here.

My husband made a comment that if I was a thoroughbred horse, they would put me down. Apparently, they go mad if they can't run. He said, "you can't stable a thoroughbred." That's totally how I feel.

I'm thinking about running the a later marathon than the one I originally signed up for even though I won't have anyone to train with for the last three weeks just to give me more time. That is, if this injury ever goes away.

I did absolutely nothing for three days this past week and then did the elliptical and it doesn't feel any better. I have gotten 3 massages. I am rolling and icing 3x a day. I have my own electronic stem machine and am using it 1-2x a day. I did run yesterday, but the quad seized up on me.

Ug.

Sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs lately...on top of all this, we're moving and I've been put in charge of a project at work and am working WAY more hours than I would like.

In Nathan news, I've been dealing with a food strike. He won't eat food. The only thing I've been able to successfully get him to eat is meat. He loves it. Good thing, because he's borderline anemic and I can't get him to eat beans.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, August 17, 2009: nothing
Tuesday, August 18, 2009: 8.6 miles
Wednesday, August 19, 2009: 9.4 miles
Thursday, August 20, 2009: nothing
Friday, August 21, 2009: nothing
Saturday, August 22, 2009: elliptical 75 minutes
Sunday, August 23, 2009: 9.4 miles
Total Mileage: 27.4 miles

Still Injured

One week later and I'm still hobbling along. I ran Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday and did the elliptical on the "off" days. I should have just taken the whole week off from exercise and maybe this bugger would be better, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was getting behind on my running. I should have realized that trying to do any sort of exercise was just getting me further in the hole and prolonging my healing. So, yesterday I got a deep tissue massage and I'm doing nothing today. I'm debating whether I should test out the legs tomorrow, but I'm still feeling some kinks in my quads and they're tugging at my knee. I forgot how much I hate being injured. We have a lot going on right now and I'd really like the stress relief of a good run. Arg. I don't know why it is so hard for me to just let go and accept that I can't run through this injury. I guess I just really wanted to kick butt in the fall marathon and feel like I am ruining my chances of doing so!

:<

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, August 10, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Tuesday, August 11, 2009: 5 miles, w/ 3 x 800 and 400 laps
Wednesday, August 12, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical
Thursday, August 13, 2009: 8.6 awful miles
Friday, August 14, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical, yoga video
Saturday, August 15, 2009: 75 minutes elliptical
Sunday, August 16, 2009: 8.6 miles
Total Mileage: 22.2 miles

Overdoing It

So, between running all those hills and hiking and biking in Tahoe....then running 10 miles the day before a hard race....and I'm left with what I believe to be a hip flexor strain. Awesome. It wasn't bugging me during the race, so it kind of came out of no-where. I got a massage on Sunday and took yesterday off. This morning I felt a little "creaky" at the beginning of track practice like my old bones were just waking up. After my 3rd 800, it was definitely bugging me, so coach kicked me out and I did 2 really slow miles. And, now it hurts when I walk. I'm so brilliant. I was so wrapped up in getting in my mileage because I really think I ought to be putting in 70 mile weeks that I screwed up my race and now I have to take a couple of days off to let this bugger heal. I traded the short-term instant gratification of higher mileage at the expense of good training in the long-term. Ug.

Sometimes I forget that discipline is not just about getting out there and putting in the mileage when you would rather be sleeping in bed and cuddling with your hubby and baby, but more about having the discipline to listen to your body rather than your mind.

Needless to say, coach thoroughly chastised me for my foolish running last week and pushing it this morning.

Oh well. Hopefully with ice and foam roller it will go away.

What I Forgot

Remember how I was worried that I would forget something REALLY important on our trip?

Guess who forgot to pack food and formula for the 8 HOUR FLIGHT to Tahoe (including layover) and only realized it after passing through security with 5 minutes to take-off?

That's right, yours truly!!

I know I have the boob buffet, but on the last flight Nathan refused to eat and I was scared to death that he wouldn't eat again this time. Luckily, he was in a boob love mood, but man...I was worried that he was going to be cranky and starving!

A picture narrative of our trip because I am too tired to write....
A picture from one of our hikes
Lake Tahoe
Nathan on a bike ride...they didn't have a helmet small enough for his wee head.

The View from Our Back Porch

Daddy and Nathan in the lake

Last Week's Weekly Mileage:

Monday, July 27, 2009: 8.6 miles

Tuesday, July 28, 2009: Track workout: 1 mile warm-up, 8 x 800 w/ 400 jogs (3:03, 2:53, 2:51, 2:49, 2:48, 2:51, 2:51, 2:51), 1.75 mile cool-down (~8-9 miles)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009: 9.4 miles

Thursday, July 30, 2009: off (travel to Lake Tahoe!)

Friday, July 31, 2009: 9.5 miles @ 6500 ft elevation HARD!! (ran 8:49 pace!)

Saturday, August 1, 2009: 10.2 miles @ 8:39 pace (and 6 mile hike)

Sunday, August 2, 2009: 16 miles @ 8:45 pace (and 1.5 hour bike ride)

Total Mileage: 62.7 miles

This Week's Weekly Mileage:

Monday, August 3, 2009: 8 miles (and one hour hike)
Tuesday, August 4, 2009: Nada...travel back home...legs were feeling pooped
Wednesday, August 5, 2009: 9.4 miles
Thursday, August 6, 2009: 9.4 miles

Friday, August 7, 2009: 10 miles

Saturday, August 8, 2009: 10 miles

Sunday, August 9, 2009: 3 miles warm up, 20 K (12.2 miles), 2.5 cool down
Total Mileage: 64.5 miles

I don't want to talk about my 20K. Maybe I'll write a race report later, but I sucked @ss. Of course, I don't know what the hell I was thinking running 10 miles the day before the race when my legs were already feeling wrecked from running, hiking, biking, etc. in Tahoe. Smart move on my part. Let's just say I didn't even run as fast as my 1/2 marathon time. :<>

Nathan News!

• Nathan started crawling two weeks ago and he is INTO EVERYTHING! We totally need to baby proof, but I kind of want to wait until we move.
• Nathan said "mama" today when I left the room for the first time!!! Not sure if he knows what mama means, but I'll take anything to brighten my day after my crappy race.
• Nathan went to his 9 month appointment on Friday....he's in the FOURTH percentile for weight and SIXTIETH for height? Guess I grew a string bean baby! He's still wearing some 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes....
• Nathan figured out how to pull himself up in the crib and now wakes me up by screaming when he can't figure out how to get down 2-3 times a night. Awesome.

Off to Tahoe

I am SO excited for this trip....but also a little nervous. On the one hand, I can't wait to see my friends from grad school. There are going to be 10 of us (5 couples) and THREE kids (the youngest is 9 weeks)! Grad school was probably my favorite time in my life and these are my some of my closest friends. I can't imagine life without them and wished we all still lived in the same city. On the other hand, I'm dreading the 7 hour flight (with layover) and the time change. Nathan was JUST starting to get into a routine of sleeping from 6-7 pm until 4-5 am (with NO mid-night feedings!).

I'm also convinced that I am going to forget some VERY IMPORTANT item or that I won't have warm enough clothes/enough clothes/matching clothes packed. Inevitably, whenever I go on vacation I realize that I must have been deranged when I packed because nothing I brought matches/looks good together/etc. I actually have made a concerted effort this year to buy the basics: black shirt, white shirt, jeans, kackis, etc. because I have such an idiosyncratic wardrobe that rarely works. I'm quite pleased with some of the outfits/clothes I've aquired and actually have several mix and match options. I'll never be a fashion plate, but at least I won't look like a blind person picked out my outfits!

It will be interesting trying to fit in running between the hiking, biking, kayaking, boating, boozing, eating, talking, and chilling! Coach said not to worry about speed, but to try and run every day and get in a 14-16 miler this weekend. Everyone knows what a running nut I am so it shouldn't be too hard...plus, I'll have plenty of babysitters!

See you all next week!!

18 Miles, Baby!

I ran 18 miles today for the first time in FOUR years! It felt AWESOME! We averaged a 7:45 pace for the entire distance, but I believe we were cranking out 6:50-7:10 miles for the last 8 miles. One of my running partners brought Blueberry Pomegranate GU Chomps and let me have some. They ROCKED! What do you gals use on long runs for hydration/fueling? I HATE GU and haven't had any since 2001, but I know that I really need to eat something. I loved the GU Chomps and think I might buy some more to use on future long runs, but would love to hear about your favorites, too. I didn't have anything to eat during the last marathon I ran in 2005 and my coach thinks that's why I didn't do as well as I would have hoped. Coach is also a big fan of NUUN, but I haven't tried it yet. Let me know!

Weekly Mileage
Monday, July 20, 2009: 8.6 miles
Tuesday, July 21, 2009: Track workout: 1 mile warm-up, 4 x 1200, 2 x 400, 4.5 mile cool down (total ~10 miles), Puking my guts out that afternoon/evening :<
Wednesday, July 22, 2009: laying in bed all day clutching my stomach
Thursday, July 23, 2009: 8.6 miles in the evening VERY VERY slowly
Friday, July 24, 2009: 8.6 miles in the morning VERY VERY slowly
Saturday, July 25, 2009: 10 miles
Sunday, July 26, 2009: 18 miles @ 7:45 pace
Total Mileage: 63.8 miles

FOUR DAYS UNTIL WE LEAVE FOR LAKE TAHOE TO HANG OUT WITH ALL MY GRAD SCHOOL FRIENDS!!!!

Blog Obsessions

I love y'all, really I do...but lately I have been obsessed with a couple of new blogs. I encourage you to check them out! Also, please share your blog obsessions!!

• Eat Live Run: Lots of good eats!
• The Happiness Project: Musings on life
• Not That You Asked: Hilarious stories! Laugh out loud!
• Joie De Vivre: Beautiful pictures to escape with
• Young House Love: Ideas for decorating (they live 10 minutes from my parents house!)
• Urban Grace Interiors: Ideas for decorating (plus she's going to have a baby girl in Sept.)
• The Stamford Wife: Ideas for decorating (she also just had a baby)

PUKE GIRL

I have not thrown-up since the 2nd grade when I took syrup of ipecac because I didn't want to take a test at school the next day. A bit of a perfectionist, I hadn't studied my requisite one to two hours a night for a week and was worried that I wouldn't get an A+. Seriously. I didn't get my first B in school until I was in the 9th grade and cried my eyes out when it happened. I remember hanging on to the toilet gasping for a breath of air before my next heave wondering if I was going to survive and really hoping that my parents wouldn't make me go to school if I did survive. Throwing up and a fever over 100F were the only symptoms they felt worthy enough to miss school. None of this "needing a personal day" crap that some of my friends parents would let them have.

Throwing up was such a horrible experience that I believe I trained my body NEVER to throw-up again:


I did not throw up after the "School Girls and Dirty Old Men" party in college where I drank three bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.


I did not throw up when I had the flu so badly that my mom drove up to DC to take care of me.


I did not throw up when my husband and I got food poisoning in Machu Picchu.


I did not throw up all 9 months of my pregnancy.


Yesterday, this record was broken and I threw up for the first time in 23 years. It was horrible. It was the kind of puking that has you hanging on to the toilet for dear life. Being a bit of a clean freak, I am horrified to think that there is still probably some puke next to my bed that I am too tired and too sick to clean up. Both hubby and I were sick. I am so scared that Nathan is going to get sick, too. I can't imagine having to take care of a baby in this state. All I have eaten in the past 24 hours is two pieces of toast, one vitamin water, and a pomegranite smoothie from Boston Market. Hubby's appetite returned and he dragged me there for lunch. Let's just say I left after about 2 minutes gagging. Food smells bad.

The worst part is that we lost a house that we were going to put a bid on yesterday because we were both too sick to finish up the details of our closing. Ug.

So, now I'm wondering if I should scrap plans for the tempo run on Friday and/or race on Saturday and/or long run on Sunday.

Oh, and my parents made me go to school the next day.

When Nugget Is a Bad Boy

I make him do push ups.

I should be....

1. folding laundry
2. planning out the dinner menu for the week
3. going to the grocery store
4. buying a box to send the present I got my friend two weeks ago
5. returning that really cool necklace I got that broke before I ever got to wear it
6. trying out some new recipes for Nathan
7. updating Nathan's baby book
8. calling back one of my best friends to get the latest boy update
9. doing an ab workout
10. returning my library book that is 5 days overdue.

Instead, I am going to sit in our living room, listen to the birds, read the paper, and go to bed early. NICE.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, July 13, 2009: 9.4 miles
Tuesday, July 14, 2009: Track workout: 1 mile warm-up, 5 x 1000, 2 x 400, 2 mile cool down (total ~7 miles), Power Yoga
Wednesday, July 15, 2009: 8.6 miles
Thursday, July 16, 2009: 70 minute elliptical, Jillian Level 2 Shred (ow!)
Friday, July 17, 2009: 5 mile tempo @ 6:25 w/ 1 mile WU and 2 miles CD (8 miles)
Saturday, July 18, 2009: 16 miles@ 7:39 pace (fast!)
Sunday, July 19, 2009: 8.6 miles
Total Mileage: ~57.6 miles

Life Laws

I came across these and really liked them...just thought I'd share:

The Life Laws…and what they mean.

1. You create your own experience
Whether life treats you fairly or unfairly, you will always be in control of your reaction to it, and that determines where you come out. What you fear you create. If you decide you're going to continue the cycle, you will continue the cycle.

2. There is no reality, only perception
We all view the world through filters, many of them, distorted. Some of them may be destroying your life. If you view the world through a dark, distorted filter, your world is going to be a dark, distorted place. If you perceive yourself as weak and vulnerable, you will be.

3. You can't change what you won't acknowledge
Be truthful about what isn't working and stop making excuses. You've got to face it to replace it. Your blind spots may be the very things you most need to see.

4. Life is managed, not cured. No one "solves" life. There's no way to "fix" it permanently. nobody arrives at a place where the work is done. The best any of us can do is manage it through the ups and downs, joys and disappointments. You're a life manager, and you are your only client. Are you going to manage yourself into a place of happiness and accomplishment, or a place of sadness and disappointment?

5. We teach people how to treat us
Its meaning is simple: What you've accepted from people in the past is the clearest indicator to them of how they can treat you in the future.

6. People do what works
Even the most destructive behaviors have a pay-off, Otherwise, we wouldn't engage in them. What behaviors are dragging you down? Figure them out or you're like a puppet on a string.

7. There is power in forgiveness
Forgiveness frees you. And the person you're forgiving doesn't have to acknowledge they're wrong or apologize. Don't forgive someone to make them feel better. Do it to make yourself feel better.

8. You have to name it to claim it.
Get clear about what you want and stake your claim.

9. Life rewards action
Think of the 5-10 most important people in our lives, and tell them how we feel about them. "You shouldn't let the sun set on another day with something unsaid to the people you love."

10. You either get it or you don't
That means you either understand that YOU are your top priority or... you don't

(I'm not sure that I agree with the last rule. I tend to think we place too much emphasis on "taking care of ourself" in our society and devalue selflessness. This being said, I have never had a problem making myself a priority and this rule might appeal more to the type of person that has a tendency to be a martyr.)

I'm officially a snark

I try to be a nice person, really I do. But, sometimes I just can't help myself.

So, today, I was doing my recovery jog after yesterday's AWESOME track workout (5 x 1000 @ 3:31-36, 2 x 400 @ 81) just minding my own business cruising along probably around an 8-9:30 minute pace. My morning reverie was broken by some solid panting and slapping of tennis shoes behind me. I like to try and guess what type of person is about to pass me by the noises they make. Usually, the louder the runner,the more likely that they are some man killing himself to beat me because heaven forbid a FEMALE run faster than he does. My inner beast wanted to break free and speed up so that this chump couldn't pass me, but I reminded myself that this was a RECOVERY run and not a RACE. So, the loud panting continued and I could hear this guy huffing and puffing as he worked his way closer to me. I continued at my steady slow pace and he finally passed me and then stabilized to my pace once he got about two feet in front of me.

Grr. I hate pacing with someone almost as much as I hate old dudes that try to pass women to prove something. I decided that I would speed up for 1/2 mile and pass this dude so I didn't have to listen to his wheezing and geezing as he tried to maintain a speed that was clearly killing him just so that he could be in front of me.

As soon as he saw me passing him, he picked it up and we ended up in an all out sprint as he tried to keep up with me. For a second there, I thought he was going to beat me, but after about 100 yards the wheels started to come off. Between gasps, he said, "you. see. HUFF. PUFF. I'm. just. WHEEZE. an old. HACK. Army guy. GASP. and. I. have. HUFF. PUFF. this. thing. with. women. WHEEZE. HACK. passing. me."

Now, I could have been a nice person and just let this old dude beat me. I could have just slowed down or taken a different path and left him with his pride in tact.

But. I'm a snark.

I replied: "Well, you picked the wrong woman to pass." And, I left him in my dust.

First Long Run with the Group and Weekly Mileage

After a horrible week at the track (couldn't finish the track workout or the tempo workout), I had a great long run with the group. It was my first time running with everyone and I was really worried that they would run me into the ground, but we ran a pretty decent pace and it never felt like a race. I actually ran with some girls that I had heard about peripherally through the years, but always put them in the "really fast runner" category that I thought I didn't belong in. Turns out, they were perfect running companions. I think I have a bit of self-consciousness that I need to get over in that I never think that I look like a "hard-core" runner and have always assumed that the "fast girls" would snub me because I didn't have their lithe legs and matching running outfits. I'm trying to change my own self-perception, but I'll always feel like I am too "soft" to fit in with the "fast girls." I asked them about the mileage and one said she runs more than the coach's plan outlines (albeit, not much) and another said she tends to stick to the coach's "lower" mileage because it works better for her. I'm going to talk to the coach tomorrow about throwing in some 2nd workouts in August to get the miles up. I can't believe I only have 3 months to train! It seems like it is going to fly by!

Last Week:
Monday, June 29, 2009: 8.6 miles, Body Flow
Tuesday, June 30, 2009: Track: 1 mile WU, 8x800 w/ 400 laps, 1 mile CD (8 miles)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009: 8.6 miles
Thursday, July 2, 2009: 10 miles
Friday, July 3, 2009: off--traveling to WV
Saturday, July 4, 2009: 9 miles (3 miles STRAIGHT UP MOUNTAIN)
Sunday, July 5, 2009: 12.5 miles
Total Mileage: 55.7 miles

This Week:
Monday, July 6, 2009: 8.6 miles
Tuesday, July 7, 2009: Track workout: 1 mile WU, 1x2000, 800 jog, 1x1600, 800 jog, 1x800, 800 jog (4.75 miles total) HORRIBLE workout...couldn't finish
Wednesday, July 8, 2009: 9.4 miles
Thursday, July 9, 2009: 75 minute elliptical
Friday, July 10, 2009: 4 mile tempo @ 6:09 w/ 1 mile WU and 2 miles CD (7 miles)
Saturday, July 11, 2009: 8 miles
Sunday, July 12, 2009: 16 miles @ 7:52 pace
Total Mileage: ~53.75 miles

"May I have some more, sir?"

I finally got my marathon training plan from my coach. Yeah! Oh, by the way, I should mention that he got me a comp'd entry an October marathon, so I will now be running a half-marathon in November. (Do you think that is enough rest time?)

Here's a sample of the plan:

Week FIVE:
Mon: 6-8 miles
Tues: Track 2000, 1600, 1200, 800, 400
Wed: 5-6 miles
Thurs: Off
Fri: 6-8 miles w/3-4 miles tempo
Sat: 6-8 miles
Sun: 14-16 miles

Week NINE:
Mon: 6-8 miles
Tues: Track 2000, 1600, 1200, 800, 400
Wed: 5-6 miles
Thurs: Off
Fri: 8-10 miles w/4-5 miles tempo
Sat: 6-8 miles
Sun: 16-18 miles

Week FOURTEEN:
Mon: 6-8 miles
Tues: Track 14-16 x 400
Wed: 5-6 miles
Thurs: Off
Fri: 8-10 miles w/3-5 miles tempo
Sat: 8-10 miles
Sun: 16-18 miles

Week SEVENTEEN:
Mon: 6-8 miles
Tues: Track 5x1000, 2x400
Wed: 5-6 miles
Thurs: Off
Fri: 8-10 miles w/3-5 miles tempo
Sat: 8-10 miles
Sun: 20-22 miles

Just thought I would show you a couple of weeks. Seems like the range of miles is 47-62 miles. I thought I would be running more than this to bring down my time. I was thinking more of the 60-70 range. Any experienced runners know if it is possible to break 3 hrs on this mileage? Do you think I should ask for more miles? I had talked to him about doing double workouts and he said a second run of 4-5 miles on 4-5 days a week (not long run or track days) was a great way to get miles up. I'll ask him tomorrow, but just wondering....the little miss "how can I get an A+" in me wants to know!

Appalachian Adventures

Ever since Nathan was born, my husband has been begging me to take him to meet his great-great grandmother Virgie, who lives in south-western West Virginia. A nine hour drive. With a baby. In the same amount of time, you could drive to southern Maine. Or South Carolina. Or fly to the Azores. Heck, I'd even rather go to Las Vegas.

2 hours is my limit for car rides. My hamstring really starts to act up and it usually results in days of pain. In addition, his grandmother lives in a holler...aka NO WHERE. As I've mentioned before, to send her a letter all you have to do is write her name and Matheny, WV and it will get to her because her town is THAT SMALL. The last time we went to visit, John and his grandfather drove one hour to the closest pizza place. Can you imagine having to drive one hour to get take-out pizza? Food being another issue. They don't really eat fruit or vegetables there. Other than pizza, on our last visit we ate hot dogs and doughnuts. Yumm-o.

My husband and I have worked out a little "concession system" in our marriage that quantifies the extent to which you are making a sacrifice for "the greater good." The concession system is on a likert scale with one being "very teeny tiny inconvenience" and five being "HUGE divorce-talking, ring-throwing territory." An example of level one concession: my husband never EVER puts the toilet seat down (I'm sorry, but I don't count 1 out of 10 as "sometimes") and this irks the bejeezus out of me, but I can live with it. My husband's irritation with loud chomping (he swears everything I eat reverberates in my hollow head) is also an example of a level one. Level three ups the anty a bit because it is more than just dealing with different preferences and irritation; level three actually requires an action on the part of another. For example, going to a family function when one would rather be insert personal interest (for example, going for a run (in my case) or putzing in the yard (my husband)). Because we (I) tend to exaggerate, about once a month an issue reaches level five. In reality, we only have one level five issue that I will not concede on, but that is a topic for another post.

This trip falls in the level four category. Seriously. I am a big baby and I hate sitting in the car that long and there's a long drama behind this part of the family that I won't go into on a public blog. But, because I know this is important to hubby, off we went to West Virginia for the third time in a month (but, who's counting?). To make the trip more palatable, we broke up the drive into four days and incorporated stops in the trip so that we didn't have to drive more than 2-3 hours a clip.

Here are some favorite memories from the trip:

• Drinking wine with my aunt and uncle on Thursday night. Having long conversations about politics, religion, and chosing to make your own path in life. Learning that my uncle's favorite memory of church as a youth was that my grandfather would put his arm around him during the homily.


• Stopping for a picnic lunch at Sandstone Falls and taking in the quiet rush of water as Nathan jumped in our hiking backpack.



• Asking the locals for a short cut back to I-64 after seeing Sandstone Falls. Learning that one should never take directions that begin with "what kind of vehicle do you drive?"


• Actually taking the suggested back road and surviving despite much gnashing of teeth and screaming as we rumbled up 70 degree inclines.


• Meeting hubby's grandparents and great-grandmother for the second time and struggling to understand their lilting Appalachian accents. For the record, bear is pronounced "BARE" and a "pole cat" is a skunk.


• Admiring hubby's grandfather's prized trophies for his "coon dogs" and then introducing Nathan to the blue bloods.

• Getting to take a picture of 5 generations of my hubby's family and watching my hubby introduce his son to his great-great-grandmother.
• Picking through old pictures of my hubby and his family, including one very attractive picture of hubby in a LEOTARD and TIGHTS. Yes, folks, he loved dance class as a kid!


• Running STRAIGHT up a mountain for three miles, seriously, STRAIGHT UP (talk about a "hill" workout).


• Stopping for dinner in Lexington with Abbie and her family, talking about life and eating some delicious vegan grub...THREE vegan chocolate cupcakes disappeared in my belly that night (yes, Abbie, as promised, I made sure that hubby got at least one)


• Being surprised when Abbie's beautiful daughter raised her tiny finger to my mouth, waiting for me to kiss it, and cried when we left.


• Making an emergency stop in Luray Caverns in the early morning and getting a tourist-free tour of the caves.