Does the middle path simply mean mediocrity?

Thanks so much for your heart-warming comments on my last blog. We are all forging our own way in motherhood and it is so nice to have a peer group of women that include ATHLETES in their new identities.

Since my conversation with my mother, I've been thinking a lot about my career and being a mother. I feel like I am straddling the fence and not really giving 100% to any aspect of my life (motherhood, career, husband, running). I was on a panel this past week with several female CXOs (speaking in my capacity of the non-profit I run...which I have finally decided to resign from) and I noticed that of the five women...only 2 were married, but had no children. These women were indeed very successful in their careers, but what about the other aspects of their life? Is the only way to be successful at something to put all your efforts toward it? I looked around at these women and realized that I didn't want to be them. If I am really honest with myself, I don't necessarily place a lot of value on achieving a high level leadership position and would rather have a multi-dimensional life. Granted, I don't know everything going on in their lives, but based on their personal bios and the amount of time that their career takes, I don't think I want to make that investment.

But, where does this leave me with my career? All of the assumptions that I have been making for the past 9 years seem null and void. I no longer have an end goal in mind other than balancing my life with Nathan and fitting in time for running. One of the things I was originally looking for when I started my career was a profession where I could grow and advance and pull in a decent salary. It was always important to me to have my own income because (a) I didn't want all of the burden to fall on my husband; (b) I wanted to feel self-sufficient should something happen to my husband or marriage; (c) I like to spend money! I know that stepping out of my career to take care of children would have some great advantages (time with Nathan, more free time for my family because we wouldn't have to spend our weekends cleaning and running errands). But, working also has some great benefits, like mental stimulation, interaction with people I enjoy, an external source of self-esteem, and more financial freedom...and the all important justification for hiring a cleaning lady and massages.

I started reading an interesting book on female leadership "Through the Labyrinth: The Truth About How Women Become Leaders" and it has an interesting section on balancing motherhood and careers:

"Many mothers, including some who have superb career credentials, choose part-time employment, take lengthy leaves of absence, or even leave employment entirely while raising children. However, women who take such actions do so very likely at the expense of their long-term careers. Many women may not realize the magnitude of the costs they may incur. And many women may not fully understand the advantages of maintaining employment despite substantial family responsibility.

What are these advantages? Because people want a healthy and satisfying life, we ask whether the combination of employment, marriage, and parenthood is the best way to achieve such a life. The answer isn't obvious. In fact, there are two very different ways that social scientists have theorized about multiple roles. According to one view, having multiple life roles creates stress, strain, and overload because multiple demands quickly become excessive. According to an alternative view, having multiple roles enhances learning and mastery. Also, each new role generally affords some increase in social support and builds social capital. In this view, a life full of challenges does not wear people down but instead strengthens them."

What do you all think? Does having multiple life roles strengthen you or stress you out? My mother seems to think it will just stress me out--which if I am truly honest--is a fear of mine.

I keep reminding myself that there is no one path and even if I decide to tread water in my career for the next few years that there is no reason that I can't change career paths or ramp back up.

I have been thinking a lot about changing career paths....

My two new career day dreams:

Physical therapist:

WHY: All of my friends call and ask for suggestions when they are hurt and I seem to have a 6th sense about people's injuries and how to heal them.

UPSIDE: I know several physical therapists that work 30 hours a week and it seems to be a very family friendly job. Plus, I wouldn't have to sit at a desk all day, which I hate. It's also a portable job that perhaps my hubby and I could use to finally implement our Australia plan.

DOWNSIDE: Three freaking years of school and possibly some prereqs that I would have to complete. I also hear that most physical therapists burn out after 10 years. What would I do if I get bored? Would I just have to start a new career?

Writer:

WHY: I do this at my current job, but I've always been obsessed with being a magazine writer/editor. I actually tried to move to NYC after college, but couldn't land a job and couldn't afford to move up there and wait to find a job.

UPSIDE: I wouldn't have to get any additional training and could free-lance for the next few years.

DOWNSIDE: BIG pay cut. Doesn't feel like a "real" skill like PT. Is this realistic considering the downturn of the publishing sector?