It's hard to train from a psychological fetal position. I'm already defeated by life right now and it is a struggle just to make it through the work day and front a positive attitude. I just want to sit at home in my sweats, watch Nugget play, and feel sorry for myself. Each day feels like one of those days at the track when you just don't want to be there and you have to pull yourself through the workout. We're moving forward with either IVF or a Frozen Embryo Transfer next month. I get the next two weeks off drugs and then I start my injections the day after Big Spring Marathon in prep for the cycle. We still haven't decided if we are doing IVF or FET. The cost differential is about $3-4K b/c FETs aren't covered by insurance, but we're going to be out $5K-9K at the end of next month. IVF has a 50-60% success rate, whereas FET only has a 20% success rate.
My legs are feeling a bit better. I cut my long run short this past weekend because I just wasn't feeling it. I was getting over a cold and my body felt a little tired and achy. I perked up at the track today and was spitting out some pretty good splits (see below). I still don't feel as perky as I felt before the 1/2 marathon, but I'm hoping that I come back with my taper the next two weeks.
I have no idea what pace to shoot for at Big Spring Marathon. Maybe 2:56/2:57 (6:42-6:45 pace)? My 1/2 marathon was predictive of a 2:53 (6:35 pace), but I don't know that I can go that fast.
Last Week's Mileage:
3/29/2010: 6.5 miles, Body Flow
3/30/2010: 12 miles, 8x800 (2:54, 2:48, 2:49, 2:46, 2:50, 2:53, 2:54, 2:54) (I kind of died 1/2 way through; guess I was feeling the 22 mile long run), 30 min yoga
3/31/2010: 12 miles am // 5 miles pm
4/1/2010: 12 miles am // 3 miles pm
4/2/2010: 11 miles total, 4 miles @ 6:14
4/3/2010: 11 miles, 20 minutes yoga, abs
4/4/2010: 14 miles @ 7:20 pace
Total: 86.5 miles
Track practice today:
4/6/2010: 10 miles total: 1600 (5:46), 1200 (4:14), 800 (2:43, 2:46), 400 (1:19)
I'm sorry that you feel like shit about everything that is going on, it sounds really frustrating and I understand. I am so excited for Boston for you, I say you go for the 2:53. You're amazing!!!! Hopefully when you are done having kids you'll look back at this time and not remember all the troubles but instead the joy that the kids brought you. :) You're in my thoughtS!
ReplyDeleteThat's some impressive stuff, woman.
ReplyDeleteThose are some amazing workouts right there - hopefully once taper hits things will slowly come together physically and hormonally so you have a great race and are feeling upbeat for a positive treatment. Boy they are expensive - ad this time must be so frustrating - but as ND said, hopefully in 10 or 20 years you will look back and laugh at your frustrations because you got the two beautiful kids you wanted anyway! Choose to be positive.
ReplyDeleteHmmph, I'm having one of those very sweatpants/couch days, heading out to slog through an uninspired speed workout, so no chipper advice here. But, maybe imagine how much more bummed you'd be if you didn't at least have Boston details to think about? Sure, the time and effort are to-be-determined, but the race WILL happen. Nice and concrete :)
ReplyDeleteTake a sweatpants day if you need one. You are driven enough to have a day to sit and think and watch Nathan play. The day after sweatpants day will seem a bit brighter. (I know that's all glib. I'm really sorry you have so much to decide regarding the next round. Like Jessica said, though, it's nice to have something concrete coming up). Take care of yourself this last week or so before Boston. Rest up so you're ready to run run run!
ReplyDeleteI think you'll surprise yourself that you are able to hold you half IM predicted pace. Boston is all about maintaning control and it seems you've got that figured out with your pacing.
ReplyDeleteAs for the fertility issues, I wish I had some sage advice. I say after Boston take a day to have a pity party about it and then just figure out a way to hang in there for the long ride (it's because of advice like this that I clearly do not have a career as a shrink or as a greeting card writer).
{{{HUGS}}} for all the fertility issues. We didn't have to go hard core, but if you ever want to talk about the emotional side of having difficulty TTC #2, I've BTDT. My 2nd is 4.5 now and every once in a while the pain still sneaks up on me.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to rock Boston!
So sorry on the baby front. Hopefully you take it easy this week! Your training has been outstanding and I think with rest this week sky is the limit. Just run how you feel race day and you will come away with a huge PR and hopefully lots of smiles!
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking of you a lot lately. It's a hard, brutal, emotional road you're traveling my friend. I just want you to know I'm rooting for you and will continue to do so as you begin your IVF/FET.
ReplyDeleteIn brighter news....yay that Boston is so freaking close. In one week you will be running the demons out of your head/heart. You will experience an emotional high. And then you can float back down to earth post-race and focus on getting your BFP.
i can't imagine being so consistent pace-wise as to think there's a difference between a 2:53 and a 2:56. i'm so impressed by that! good luck in the race and with TTC after...
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