I wrote my friend who is due around the same time and told her:
Thanks so much for dinner last night. It was so sweet of you and [your husband]. It was, as I imagine it will continue to be, difficult to see you and think about where I should have been in my pregnancy. I can only hope with time I will accept this loss into the arc of my life and that seeing you and your sweet baby will not be some painful. It's odd, but I did have a weird thought when we told each other that night that we were pregnant, that I hoped that nothing happened to either of our babies because it would be a terrible reminder. Perhaps my intuition knew then that things would not go well with the pregnancy. Please understand that it may be difficult for me to see you and your baby (boy or girl? still waiting?), but that I will get over it and love your baby as we love [your older son]. I hope that some day I can be thankful for your baby because it will be a reminder of our sweet Mackenzie as life moves on and he becomes less of a part of every moment of every day in our lives.
Love you guys,
RunningMama
This is so brave and beautiful. One of my coworkers and I were due less than a week apart with my third loss. She ended up having her baby on my due date. I still can't even look at her. Your post has inspired me to try to make peace with the situation, as tough as it is. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeletei can't really imagine of course, but i can hope that your mind set here is going to help you heal. i think it's very brave of you.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautifully sweet and generous note to your friend. I am sure she is grateful to you for helping her know a tiny bit more what to do/say/expect. I agree with the others--very brave of you but also very generous--you are not expected to help others figure out what to do right now, just focus on yourself and how to get through each moment. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading along but blogger just doesn't let me comment and it's such a bummer. I think your note to your friend was amazing and honest and perfect. Though I know this situation is far from perfect, and my heart aches for you. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteWell done you. I wish I could write a letter like this. I'm so incredibly hurt though.
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