I could test today. But, I'm not feeling strong enough. I don't think I can handle a negative. I stay up at night until 2 or 3 am, watching random movies. I did this when we didn't know what was going on with Mackenzie. I would stay up all hours watching Shameless on Demand. I couldn't sleep. Waiting. Anxious. Unable to sleep, but exhausted.
I have mixed symptoms. My boobs are a little more tender. My appetite is ravenous, especially in the early morning. But, I am not constipated. I don't know if I should test tomorrow, two weeks from retrieval, and get it over with. Or, if I should wait until Friday and test on the day of my blood test.
For now, living in limbo seems easier than living with the cold, hard failure.
What to do? What would you do? How did you handle testing after a cycle?
There's no right answer.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it changed over time. When I first started TTC I'd test at around 12dpo. After about a year I got sick of the BFNs, so I gave up testing, and just waited for my period to arrive, which it did for the next couple of years.
My first IVF cycle I didn't test until AFTER I started bleeding, just to confirm the negative and get out of the blood test.
My first FET I tested at 2DP trigger shot because I wanted to see it go out of my system. It was already gone that quickly. I then just kept testing, maybe every other day? I can't remember. I got a +ve at 7dp6dt.
The next FET I did was several years later. No trigger shot (I have done natural FETs). I figured I may as well test at 7dp6dt again, and got a +ve. Crappy ebay tests meant I got a -ve test a few days later, which was rectified by a +ve on a FRED.
When/if I cycle next it'll be a fresh cycle so I think I'll do FREDs from retrieval onwards. I still wonder if I metabolize the trigger super fast, or if that was just a fluke.
I never tested before my blood test when we were trying for Owen - was too scared.
ReplyDeleteI did test with every cycle we tried for our second - always the day before the blood test, so I knew what to expect when I got the call. For me, I wanted to be prepared for whatever they told me so that I didn't live or die with a phone call.
There's no right answer. Thinking of you.
xoxo