Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Glimmer of Hope
During my November cycle, 8 days past 5-day transfer, my waking basal body temperature was 97.6. Today, 8 days past 5-day transfer, my waking basal body temperature was 98.14. That's a small glimmer of hope, right? Right? (She says desperately!)
Or, could my "temperature" just be because I am using a different progesterone suppository?
Also, I don't have any more cramps (of course, the moment I type this...they'll start back up again.)
This is TMI, but just wanted to let you guys know in case this ever happens to you while on progesterone suppositories: I appear to have a yeast infection due to all the moisture from the "leakage." The nurse say I could take 3-day monistat, but to only put it in 1/2 inch and to use the external cream and that should clear it up.
One more day...18 more hours until I take a HPT.
Or, could my "temperature" just be because I am using a different progesterone suppository?
Also, I don't have any more cramps (of course, the moment I type this...they'll start back up again.)
This is TMI, but just wanted to let you guys know in case this ever happens to you while on progesterone suppositories: I appear to have a yeast infection due to all the moisture from the "leakage." The nurse say I could take 3-day monistat, but to only put it in 1/2 inch and to use the external cream and that should clear it up.
One more day...18 more hours until I take a HPT.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Bubble Burst
Ah, fear and sadness, my old companions. You have rejoined me again for my journey. How foolish I was to think that I could escape a "two week wait" (nine days this time) without you.
I started to feel a little crampy last night, which I have felt with my prior cycles this year. My optimism and hope were such quixotic feelings. I wish I could feel steady and confident, but we all know that you can have great blastocysts that never turn into a viable pregnancy.
I want the next two days to be over. I feel like the time is t.i.c.k.i.n.g a.w.a.y at a sluggish pace.
Also, Friday will be nine days after transfer, fourteen days after retrieval…is that too soon for a HPT to show up? I usually don't test before eleven days post transfer.
I started to feel a little crampy last night, which I have felt with my prior cycles this year. My optimism and hope were such quixotic feelings. I wish I could feel steady and confident, but we all know that you can have great blastocysts that never turn into a viable pregnancy.
I want the next two days to be over. I feel like the time is t.i.c.k.i.n.g a.w.a.y at a sluggish pace.
Also, Friday will be nine days after transfer, fourteen days after retrieval…is that too soon for a HPT to show up? I usually don't test before eleven days post transfer.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Stop It
I keep telling myself to stop being excited and entertaining the possibility of a positive pregnancy test...but I can't help myself. I feel so positive this two week wait. It's unlike any of the others...I would usually go through a period where I felt neutral, then horribly negative and crying all the time, then delusionally optimistic, and then I would get my period or the negative pregnancy test. This time, I feel different. I feel like it is going to work.
I don't have any of the "symptoms" I usually have during the two week wait...the sore boobs, the extreme fatigue. I have a tugging feeling in my lower abs, like I pulled a muscle or something. Of course, I could have actually pulled my muscle. Not sure how though, considering I haven't done ANYTHING active since last Tuesday. The only symptom I do have is a higher basal body temperature in the morning. During my prior two week waits, I would typically have a basal body temperature of 97.2 to 97.6. This cycle, my basal body temperature has been 97.8 to 98.1, which is really high for me. Maybe I'm wearing warmer clothing to bed because it is so cold in our house, or maybe my husband the bear is emitting more heat. Who knows.
I have been waking up at 3-4am EVERY morning and unable to go back to sleep because I am SO excited at the prospect of ending this awful journey. To be able to travel again, feel more like hanging out with our friends, do some project around the house.
I must stop it, though.
Beta is 2/11/11. Another reason this clinic rocks. They only make me wait 9 days to do the beta, rather than 14 days like the other clinic!!
I don't have any of the "symptoms" I usually have during the two week wait...the sore boobs, the extreme fatigue. I have a tugging feeling in my lower abs, like I pulled a muscle or something. Of course, I could have actually pulled my muscle. Not sure how though, considering I haven't done ANYTHING active since last Tuesday. The only symptom I do have is a higher basal body temperature in the morning. During my prior two week waits, I would typically have a basal body temperature of 97.2 to 97.6. This cycle, my basal body temperature has been 97.8 to 98.1, which is really high for me. Maybe I'm wearing warmer clothing to bed because it is so cold in our house, or maybe my husband the bear is emitting more heat. Who knows.
I have been waking up at 3-4am EVERY morning and unable to go back to sleep because I am SO excited at the prospect of ending this awful journey. To be able to travel again, feel more like hanging out with our friends, do some project around the house.
I must stop it, though.
Beta is 2/11/11. Another reason this clinic rocks. They only make me wait 9 days to do the beta, rather than 14 days like the other clinic!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Definitely Getting a Tax Write-off this Year
For medical costs, at least.
We spent:
$27,530
including...2 fresh cycles, 1 frozen cycle, 3 medicated/monitored cycles, therapist(s), accupunturist, and massage.
Jeez.
I could think of a million other ways I would have liked to spend that money, but it is gone now.
We spent:
$27,530
including...2 fresh cycles, 1 frozen cycle, 3 medicated/monitored cycles, therapist(s), accupunturist, and massage.
Jeez.
I could think of a million other ways I would have liked to spend that money, but it is gone now.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Embryologist Report
When we talked to the embryologist on transfer day, we mentioned that we had transferred 6 "good quality" day five blastocysts or morulas over the past 3 IVF cycles (2 fresh, 1 frozen) and had no luck. She questioned our basis for determining whether they were "good quality" embryos and said that each clinic had it's own standards for blastocyst quality and RMA-NJ's standards were higher than most clinics. She asked whether we had any pictures of the embryos from the prior cycles that we could share with her and we said we would email them to her when we got back. I sent them to my nurse yesterday morning around 8:30.
About an hour later, the embryologist called us back (quick response time!). Her first words were: "Oh, Runningmama, those embryos didn't have a chance." She then proceeded to walk me through each embryo and explain why they were/weren't good. The pictures below go in chronologically reverse order. The embryos on the far left are the ones that we transferred in on Wednesday, our hatching blasts. The middle picture is from November and the picture on the far right is from the cycle in August. For the November cycle, she said we transferred in one not so healthy looking morula (not two morulas like they told me), which she gave a 20% chance of making a baby, and two arrested blastocysts, which means they had a 0% chance of turning into a baby. In August, we transferred a morula (the one with the cell coming off the top) and a blastocyst (not two blastocysts like they told us). The morula had already excluded a cell, which was a sign that it wasn't a healthy embryo. The blastocyst was misshapen, but barely starting to form an inner cavity so she thinks it might have had a slight chance of turning into a baby. She said that she would have been devastated if this was all that she had to work with on Day 5 and wouldn't have transferred these embryos or, if she did, she would have told us that they had a very little chance of survival.
I can't believe the old clinic never told us this. The embryologist said that perhaps the lab wasn't as experienced and couldn't tell the difference, and/or that they possibly didn't have as much experience with Day 5 transfers. I believe her...she has a lot of experience and did train at the best clinic in the United States. But, my local clinic also has pretty good statistics, so I can't believe that they would s*ck this much.
I am glad to know that the embryos weren't good and it wasn't some uterine/hormone/other issue. Of course, one can never rule those things out. At least with this cycle, we know that we are capable of making excellent blastocysts and, if it doesn't work, we will have to re-evaluate whether any other factors may be impacting our success.
Also, she said our third blast looked good (4BB) and was glad that she decided to wait a day!
The embryologist is just one more reason why this clinic is WONDERFUL.
About an hour later, the embryologist called us back (quick response time!). Her first words were: "Oh, Runningmama, those embryos didn't have a chance." She then proceeded to walk me through each embryo and explain why they were/weren't good. The pictures below go in chronologically reverse order. The embryos on the far left are the ones that we transferred in on Wednesday, our hatching blasts. The middle picture is from November and the picture on the far right is from the cycle in August. For the November cycle, she said we transferred in one not so healthy looking morula (not two morulas like they told me), which she gave a 20% chance of making a baby, and two arrested blastocysts, which means they had a 0% chance of turning into a baby. In August, we transferred a morula (the one with the cell coming off the top) and a blastocyst (not two blastocysts like they told us). The morula had already excluded a cell, which was a sign that it wasn't a healthy embryo. The blastocyst was misshapen, but barely starting to form an inner cavity so she thinks it might have had a slight chance of turning into a baby. She said that she would have been devastated if this was all that she had to work with on Day 5 and wouldn't have transferred these embryos or, if she did, she would have told us that they had a very little chance of survival.
I can't believe the old clinic never told us this. The embryologist said that perhaps the lab wasn't as experienced and couldn't tell the difference, and/or that they possibly didn't have as much experience with Day 5 transfers. I believe her...she has a lot of experience and did train at the best clinic in the United States. But, my local clinic also has pretty good statistics, so I can't believe that they would s*ck this much.
I am glad to know that the embryos weren't good and it wasn't some uterine/hormone/other issue. Of course, one can never rule those things out. At least with this cycle, we know that we are capable of making excellent blastocysts and, if it doesn't work, we will have to re-evaluate whether any other factors may be impacting our success.
Also, she said our third blast looked good (4BB) and was glad that she decided to wait a day!
The embryologist is just one more reason why this clinic is WONDERFUL.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Meet Lucky Lexie and Marvelous Max!
I wish I could figure out how to convert a PDF to a Jpeg so I could show you this beautiful picture of my hatching blasts. Alas. Anyone know how to do that??
Yesterday was a MARATHON race up to NJ.
I was supposed to receive a call between 9-11 am yesterday to let us know whether the embryos were good enough to biopsy (2 5BB embryos!). We were scheduled for PGD on Wednesday (if the embyros were OK) and a 6-day transfer early Thursday morning (if there were any normal embyros). It never occurred to us that we might do a Day 5 transfer!! The plan was that I would get the call by 11-12am at the latest, my parents would drive from their house two hours away to pick me up, and we would all go up together. I wanted my parents to go because they were there when I transferred my little Nugget and I thought maybe they would be a "good luck charm" of sorts, since all the cycles where my husband was at the transfer hadn't worked.
At 10:30, I was sweating bullets, eating fistfuls of chocolate chips, and going insane waiting to get the call. I happened to look at my cell phone and realized it was TURNED OFF...with three messages from my clinic telling me to get up to NJ ASAP because we were going to do a Day-5 transfer. Of course, I live 4.5 hours AWAY plus the two hours for my parents to get here...so the earliest I could get there would be 4:30/5:00 pm...which was TOO late!
So, I left without them...and my parents were going to try and catch up by driving ridiculous unsafe speeds. They managed to get only one speeding ticket (real safe, right?) and arrived only 40 minutes after I did (you do the math!!). I made a record commute of 3 hrs 45 minutes.
Thankfully, the whole operating room staff stayed late so that I could get my 5-day transfer. How amazing? They were great, too. Gave us all hugs when we got there.
Here's hoping these embryos make it!! I have a GOOD feeling about this...but I've been fooled before.
Plus, we have one 4BB embryo to freeze today! What a difference a new lab and different protocol make...of course, we'll see if I actually get a positive pregnancy test.
Yesterday was a MARATHON race up to NJ.
I was supposed to receive a call between 9-11 am yesterday to let us know whether the embryos were good enough to biopsy (2 5BB embryos!). We were scheduled for PGD on Wednesday (if the embyros were OK) and a 6-day transfer early Thursday morning (if there were any normal embyros). It never occurred to us that we might do a Day 5 transfer!! The plan was that I would get the call by 11-12am at the latest, my parents would drive from their house two hours away to pick me up, and we would all go up together. I wanted my parents to go because they were there when I transferred my little Nugget and I thought maybe they would be a "good luck charm" of sorts, since all the cycles where my husband was at the transfer hadn't worked.
At 10:30, I was sweating bullets, eating fistfuls of chocolate chips, and going insane waiting to get the call. I happened to look at my cell phone and realized it was TURNED OFF...with three messages from my clinic telling me to get up to NJ ASAP because we were going to do a Day-5 transfer. Of course, I live 4.5 hours AWAY plus the two hours for my parents to get here...so the earliest I could get there would be 4:30/5:00 pm...which was TOO late!
So, I left without them...and my parents were going to try and catch up by driving ridiculous unsafe speeds. They managed to get only one speeding ticket (real safe, right?) and arrived only 40 minutes after I did (you do the math!!). I made a record commute of 3 hrs 45 minutes.
Thankfully, the whole operating room staff stayed late so that I could get my 5-day transfer. How amazing? They were great, too. Gave us all hugs when we got there.
Here's hoping these embryos make it!! I have a GOOD feeling about this...but I've been fooled before.
Plus, we have one 4BB embryo to freeze today! What a difference a new lab and different protocol make...of course, we'll see if I actually get a positive pregnancy test.
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