Parity

I first started this blog over 3 years ago when I was 22 weeks pregnant with my son.



I never had a vision for this blog. I guess my only purpose in starting the blog was to put my information out there as a data point for other active women that struggled with inferiltity....And, now? Why do I keep blogging?



Mainly for myself, I think. I never dedicated enough time or effort or creativity in my blog to develop a following. But, similar to my attitude regarding friends in real life, I never valued quantity over quality. I'd much rather have deeper, richer, fewer connections with other bloggers than an overwhelming number of followers. And, so, I guess part of the reason I still blog is for those relationships: to continue to share in each other's lives.



However, I know that many of those I care about still haven't resolved their infertility and that my pregnancy is a point of pain. For that reason, I promised myself that I wouldn't talk endlessly about my pregnancy. I think I've wary of embracing this pregnancy in general for fear that it would fall between my fingers and all I would be left with is the severity of my want.



As this pregnancy progresses, though, I worry that I am wishing this special time away so I can rush to the end of my story: do I have a healthy baby? Does she survive? Does my journey finally end?



Recently, I have decided that I would like to hold on to as much of this pregnancy as possible. I think forcing myself to post pictures and recount the memories of each week of pregnancy will allow me to settle into living in the present, enjoying each flutter with my baby girl while she is with me.



I hope those of you still struggling can understand why I would like to take my blog in this direction and I will not be offended if you never read or post on my blog again. I have done the very same thing when the the pain of my struggle made it too hard to see others moving forward with their lives.



And, with that:


My running stats for week 22:
Thursday, September 8, 2011: 10 miles
Friday, September 9, 2011: 9 miles
Saturday, September 10, 2011: off
Sunday, September 11, 2011: 11 miles
Monday, September 12, 2011: 9 miles
Tuesday, September 13, 2011: 10 miles, Body Pump
Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 9 miles
Total Mileage: 58 miles
Compare to Pregnancy #1: 62 miles



Symptoms while running: During my first pregnancy, I had intense calf pain and numbness in my feet starting around 18 weeks for the first 3-4 miles in a run. It started around 18 weeks again this pregnancy, but surprisingly seems to have gone away in the past few days (hence the mileage!) and it is AWESOME! Some days are definitely better than other days in terms of running. Some days I have to walk up all the hills and am barely running a 10 minutes pace; other days I feel like I can fly up hills and start thinking about doing track workouts again.



Baby purchases to date: 4 outfits that "accidentally" fell into my bag at a consignment shop when I was buying winter clothes for Nugget. A baby book that I fell in love with a long time ago. A poster of a "fairy girl" painting from Etsy. A pink and white butterfly orb from Etsy.



Nugget's Perspective on the Baby: Nugget doesn't quite seem to grasp the "baby in mommy's belly" concept. He has been talking about babies a bit more and acting like a baby quite frequently. He'll crawl around on the floor mewing like a cat and his indignant response to our question on his mammal status is: "I baby. I cyying." (he can't pronounce "r's" that clearly).



And, that, is my update.