Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Testing again

I find it highly depressing that I have to do my mock transfer and infectious disease testing again.  It seems unreal to me that this time last year I was gearing up for my first IVF post Baby Girl and now...I'm still freaking doing IVF.  I swore that I would only do two cycles and then move on.  What's my threshold now?  How far am I willing to go?  Some days, I petulantly just want to throw in the towel.  Others...I accept that this is a freaking long process.

Can I just say that I hate the Royal Baby?  But, not as much as I hated getting my friend's announcement that her baby boy (due the same time as Mackenzie) was born and is healthy.  I don't really mean that...but it has been really hard to face Mackenzie's due date and realize how far my life is from where I thought it would be a few months ago.

Off I go to read books to my little boy and snuggle in bed.  Hopefully with just enough time for a glass of wine and a little T.V. tonight.
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 24, 2013 at 3:54 AM

    Ugh, it's just so stabby to a broken heart isn't it?

    I'm sorry you're not where you expected to be. It sucks.

    I find the infectious disease testing to be a bit of a kick in the teeth. Just another thing that fertile people don't have to worry about.

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  2. ShelleyJuly 24, 2013 at 10:04 PM

    I've been wanting to ask...do you still have frozen embryos from your previous cycles?

    Hang in there and take good care of yourself. Multiple IVFs are hard in the best of circumstances....

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    Replies
    1. RunningMamaJuly 25, 2013 at 11:35 AM

      Hi:> We do have 4 frozen embryos. 2 from Mackenzie's cycle. 1 from this last cycle. 1 from the cycle up at RMA-NJ. I just don't have much faith in frozen embryos...and want to use up my insurance coverage while I still have it!

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  3. Catwoman73July 26, 2013 at 5:20 PM

    Matters of the heart are just so complicated. I firmly believe you'll know when you've had enough. And you can't force it- as you know, I tried to force the 'we're done' decision, and now we're giving it one final (desperate) shot. Hang in there, and listen to your heart. Hugs to you...

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  4. Justine LJuly 28, 2013 at 11:25 AM

    I think that the answer to these questions can change ... and as long as you're checking in and tending to your heart, you are doing the right thing. Sending love, and wishing a gentle wind for the next part of your journey.

    ReplyDelete

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