1st Track Workout in....8 YEARS!

I finally got the nerve to go check out that new running group I have been thinking about. They were great! I did my first track workout in *I think* 8 years and it was so much fun. There were a couple of girls that were right around my speed...several that were faster which is awesome. They were all very supportive and outgoing. I have tried to find my place once or twice before with a group at the track, but I never really felt like they wanted me to be there. This group was different and I think I might have found a "home."

In other news, seems my poor little man has caught my cold (his first) and it has resulted in bronchiolitis, which is too bad because kids that develop this tend to get asthma when they are older. I was hoping that my breastfeeding would prevent him from developing his father's asthma and allergies, but it seems that genetics is overruling. I have to use a nebulizer on him 3x a day until he gets better. He HATES it. :<

Sweet Mother's Day

I've always thought of Mother's Day as a "Hallmark Holiday" and kind of resented having to celebrate it. But this year....it felt like Christmas. I was so excited for Mother's Day. So excited to be a mom and to have my little man that I am so proud of. Nathan woke me up at 4 am this morning and I woke up smiling because...it was Mother's Day! I'm a mom!

Today was a near perfect day. I went for a run in the morning. We walked to our local farmer's market and bought some fresh vegetables, crunchy apples, and ground bison meat (that's a first!). We got some cleaning done around the house and cut the grass. We played with Nathan and practiced sitting. I checked out a couple of open houses (we're going to try and move this summer). Then, hubby and I went out for dinner and got frozen custard for dessert.

And my husband gave me a card with a beautiful note ....

"To the mother of my child,
Thank you for all you do. For being a concerned, careful planner attending to vaccination schedules and baby gear checklists. For greeting Nathan with joy every time he wakes and for seeing him off to sleep every night and every nap with understanding. And, for having the inner strength to endure IVF, to endure a hundred sleepless nights, and to never once waiver in regret. Love, Hubby"

AND a promise that we could get professional pictures done!!

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, May 4, 2009: 1/2 of Power Yoga video...my rib started to hurt; 70 minutes elliptical
Tuesday, May 5, 2009: 9.4 SLOW miles (rib STILL hurt), Body Pump
Wednesday, May 6, 2009: 10 SLOW miles, Power Yoga video (could make it through the whole thing; rib feeling better)
Thursday, May 7, 2009: Body Pump, 8 miles with 3 miles @ 6:18 (was supposed to do 4 miles @ 6:18, but d@mn treadmill shut down)
Friday, May 8, 2009: 9.4 miles
Saturday, May 9, 2009: 16 miles @ 8 min pace
Sunday, May 10, 2009: 8.6 miles
Total Mileage: 61.4 miles

Full Night of Sleep!!

Nathan slept thru the night for the first time!!!! He woke up once around 1 am and we let him cry it out and he was out cold until 6:45. I thought I would feel more rested, but I really don't feel that much better than the nights when I would get up with him 2-3 times. Maybe I just need a couple more good nights of rest. Eating solids and a couple nights of letting him CIO have really made the difference. We'll see if this was a fluke..........

I think my rib has finally healed. It didn't hurt on my run yesterday.

Off to go enjoy our first day of sunshine all week!

Feeling Beat Up

I'm still feeling pretty beat up from the accident last week. I tried to do a yoga video today, but one of my ribs hurt so badly that I couldn't finish it. Maybe I have a cracked/bruised rib? I guess I should go to the doctor to get all these bumps and bruises checked out. I think the EMT wasn't very thorough with my husband or me. On top of my bruises, I have some sort of cold. Hope it's not the swine flu! Wah. Wah. Wah.

Guess my training is going to be really off track for the 1/2 marathon I am running next month. Bummer.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, April 27, 2009: Nada. Too exhausted from getting up at 5 am to get to airport and traveling most of the day. I drank some great rum drinks, though!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009: 9 miles @ 7:41 pace (Treadmill), 2 hour hike in El Yunque
Wednesday, April 29, 2009: 8 miles @ 7:41 pace (Treadmill), day of the accident
Thursday, April 30, 2009: 3 hour hike in El Yunque (VERY hard after accident, but we didn't want our vacation to get too deterred)
Friday, May 1, 2009: 60 minutes slow jog/walk outside, VERY hard with bum knee from accident
Saturday, May 2, 2009: 7 mile slow jog
Sunday, May 3, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical, my cold really started to act up plus the bum knee didn't look so hot
Total Mileage: ~30 miles

I know. I'm stupid. I should take a rest day.

Icarus

Have you ever had an experience that you feel was God's way of bringing you back to Earth? That maybe you had a bit too much hubris and you needed to be reminded how mortal you were?

I had that experience this past week in Puerto Rico; we had a very scary car wreck.

We were driving on a two lane road going around a sharp turn when a driver tried to pass a car in our lane. We swerved off the road to miss him and he swerved as well, slamming into us. Or, at least, this is what my husband tells me. My memory of the event was that I had been staring out the window at the lush green hills waiting for an occassional peek at the ocean when I was flung forward like a rag doll. I couldn't breathe. My next memory is of my husband asking me if I was OK and Nathan screaming. I kept saying no, no, no and with complete singularity my brain demanded that I must get Nathan. I opened my car door only to crumple to the ground. The next thing I remember is that I was laying on the ground and people were all around me and someone handed me Nathan. And I sobbed and kissed him all over.

I have replayed those few moments over and over in my head. The accident took place in mere seconds. A shift of the head. A slightly different angle of impact. An improperly fastened seat belt. Any of these factors could have changed the equation and we could have been dead. Nathan could have been dead. He was in this rinky-dink car seat that we got from the rental company that barely had a three-point harness. The seat belt was too tight, but we squeezed him in. What if we had made it looser? Would he have been hurt?

My husband and I are covered in bruises and had mild concussions. My hammer toe that I had surgery on is pretty swollen and my knee hurts so badly that I am still having problems walking.

But, Nathan has not one bruise. I spent the first two days after the accident repeatedly taking his clothes off and searching his body for marks, pressing his tiny little parts to see if there was some hidden pain that we couldn't see. But, he was and is fine. 10 minutes after the accident he was cooing in the arms of the EMT.

We have so much to be thankful for:

Prize Money!? WHAT?!

I freaking won some prize money today at the GW Parkway 10-miler! I wish I could have captured the moment...standing up there with all of these elite runners that I feel are WAY out of my class....to accept my 10th place prize. It was the best feeling ever. Little old me...who runs with a jogging stroller and does speed workouts on the treadmill...and these people that are going to the Olympic trials. I felt like everyone watching us must have thought that they were playing the "which one is not like the others" game that they play on Sesame Street.

I was amazed that my time was only 20-30 seconds off my PR two weeks ago at the Cherry Blossom 10-miler. There was a world of difference in how I felt at these two races. My legs were very fresh during the Cherry Blossom and I really felt like I left a little out there at the end of the race. This race, however, was a total struggle. I only did a mini-taper for this race and my legs felt like lead. Running 9-10 miles with the jogging stroller on Tuesday was NOT a good idea. Plus, at the start of the race my quads and IT band felt a little off. I ended up being fairly consistent with my miles (with the exception of the first mile that I ran in 5:50), so I think I have gotten better about pacing myself.

Other good news: I GOT TO SEE AND CHEER FOR MCM Mama!! which was TOTALLY AWESOME. I tried to find you after the race MCM Mama, but there were too many people. You looked great! My hubby ran the race as well and finished just under the two hour mark. Go hubby!

Hubby and I have been debating whether I can use the $200 I won to put toward coaching. He doesn't want me to because he doesn't think that we will have the time. We actually got in a big fight about it on the ride home. He said that with me returning to work and Nathan still not sleeping and him having a high pressure job that didn't lend itself to much flexibility that I shouldn't think about training more/harder/committing to specific workouts with a running group. I was so upset. I think I was coming off the high of being within reach of all these amazing runners that probably trainer harder/smarter than I do and wondering if maybe I could be better. But, at the end of the day, I will never be a professional runner. It will always be an avocation, not a vocation for me. How much am I willing to make my family sacrifice so I can do something that I enjoy, but will never qualify as an "elite?" How much does my running matter? I don't know that I would actually enjoy training harder. I certainly wouldn't want to be doing any more miles than I am doing now. But, I would enjoy the companionship of other runners. I've been looking into team coaching through Capital Area Runners....but maybe I should just get a virtual coach like Mama Simmons, Kate Parker, or Angela Kidd. I don't know. I only trained with a group once...and it felt all consuming. I don't know that I can go back to that place again.

Weekly Mileage:
Monday, April 20, 2009: 8.6 miles @ 7:41 pace (Treadmill), MTV Power Yoga Video
Tuesday, April 21, 2009: 9-10 miles (with jogging stroller), Body Pump
Wednesday, April 22, 2009: 8.6 miles, 20 minutes of Power Yoga Video (baby decided mommy needed to pay more attention to him)
Thursday, April 23, 2009: Body Pump, 7 miles
Friday, April 24, 2009: 6 miles, 3 mile walk
Saturday, April 25, 2009: 60 minutes elliptical, 2 mile walk
Sunday, April 26, 2009: 10 miles @ 6:33 pace, 8 minute warmup (~1 mile), 1 mile @ 12 min pace w/ hubby = ~12 miles
Total Mileage: 52.6 miles

Off to Puerto Rico! I'll talk to you all in 6 days!

Swimsuits

Given that it is T-4 days until we leave for Puerto Rico, I thought I should go buy a bathing suit.

Because I only own ONE suit.

It was my sister's swimsuit from high school swimming that is probably two sizes too large. It has a hole in the butt that I like to pretend isn't there.

I wore it three years ago post bunionectomy to swim in the pool and train for the one and only sprint tri I have ever done.

To say that I am modest is a bit of an understatement. I hate wearing anything "small." My friends all used to make fun of my size Large granny panties until I fell in love with Hanky Panky underwear. My husband tell me I am "a waste of a hot body."

I just feel so BARE wearing a bathing suit. Heaven forbid I wear a BIKINI! My stomach has NEVER seen the light of day. Seriously. In my 30 years on this earth, I have not once worn a bikini (that is, unless you count the cut-out bathing suit that I wore when I was 8).

Plus, wearing a bathing suit brings out perfectionist tendencies that I'd rather not deal with. I put on a bathing suit and all I can think is "wow, you are FAR from starving to death" and "maybe that third serving of cereal/icecream/bread/chocolate was REALLY not a good idea" and "why do I have a pancake butt" and "my thighs are so WIDE compared to my calves" and "I should seriously consider eating nothing but vegetables for three months." Now, I know that I am a healthy weight. However, I probably could eat less. But, I am not willing to make the changes that would be necessary to look as I would like in a bathing suit. I have found that the best way to avoid any of these negative thoughts is to NEVER WEAR A BATHING SUIT.

In honor of my 31st birthday, I bought a nice black bikini to cavort around in and drink margaritas like I just don't care. I figure that some day I will be an old woman with shriveled up boobs and a really saggy butt and will regret that I never pranced around in my skivvies.

I might pack my sister's bathing suit just as a security blanket.....