So...in addition to my full time job...I am the president a small non-profit association, which takes anywhere from 5-30 hours a week. In general, I love it. It is a great creative outlet outside of work and I am really dedicated to the mission. I also think it will be a great thing to have on my resume and hope that it will open up opportunities for me down the road. I signed up to be the president for another year because (a) there really wasn't anyone to take my place; (b) I wanted to reassure our sponsors that we would have continuity in leadership, and (c) I wanted to set a 2 year precident for presidents. Lately, though, I have been regretting the decision and feeling completely inadequate in completing the work needed for my job, fulfilling my position as president, getting prepared for the life growing in my belly, and keeping up my exercise regimen. In the past two months, I've had to lower my standards for the non-profit, drop my exercise regimen, and pretty much done nothing to get ready for the baby in order to meet minimum requirements at work. The job that pays does play the trump card!
I hate feeling like I am not doing my best on all fronts. I was talking to a girlfriend at work about it today (who is a mom) and she said that's what it feels like to be a working mom and that you just learn to lower your standards. For all you ladies that are going to be working moms, do you think this is true? Do you think that while working and being a mom we will constantly feel like we are falling down on the job somewhere? Oi. What an adjustment.
In the meantime, I'm still awake at 11:30 at night....trying to get it all done...and still failing:<
That's where we have to let ourselves off the hook sometimes. The art of saying NO is a lost one. I have already prepared clients that I won't be as readily available, especially at first, as a way of taking care of myself. Sometimes I feel guilty when I set boundaries and say no to people but in the end, I am usually glad that I've listened to what my body and head are telling me!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have alot on your plate, and definitely, some things are going to go by the wayside. It is hard to decide what takes precedence. Yes - I think that it is going to be hard to be #1 at work and #1 mom. I am just like you and need to feel that I am doing the best at what I am doing, but I am going to have to change my mindset and do the best that I can in the circumstances and hope that it is enough for me. I can see becoming really stressed out if I am not "the best" in my mind or doing my best job, but I am kind of planning for it. Family is more important in the end, so I guess we have to change priorities. I think it is going to be really hard having a dependent and not just being ME and worrying about myself!
ReplyDeleteFunny...I never thought of myself as the type of person that had a hard time saying "no" to people...but looking back at my last post...and all that is on my plate...I guess I do have a hard time saying no! I have tried to manage expections for the non-profit folks about what I will or won't be able to do...but I don't know that I have fully accepted that I can't do everything!
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