This post isn't going to be existential or anything....:>
While I was running the Fall Marathon, there was a sign around mile 23 that said "Remember all the reasons that brought you here today." And, for the life of me, I could not remember one d@mn reason to run 26.2 miles. Even though the marathon was three weeks ago, I keep thinking about that stupid little sign.
WHY do I run marathons? To push myself to my physical limits? So I can eat a TON of food after my long runs? Because I love the comradery that comes with training? To give myself a goal to strive towards? Because I'm a pretty good runner and winning is a source of self confidence? All the endorphins?
For many years, I didn't run marathons or races at all for that matter. I actually quite enjoyed sleeping in with my husband and fitting in my exercise whenever rather than fitting my life around my exercise. I liked doing the elliptical and reading books when I didn't feel like running. I liked that there was no pressure to perform.
Now that I've run my sub-3 hour marathon, I find myself at a cross roads. Had I done better in the race (a 2:55 or below), then I would have definitely wanted to try to qualify for the olympics. But, I didn't. And, I really don't think that I could have pushed myself any harder. I'm sure that I could have trained more. Most of my weekly mileage was in the 65-73 range. But, eh. Now, Nugget is starting to wean (wouldn't eat from my boob at all today) and he's not quite a little baby anymore and I have that craving again for a little baby. We always hoped to have our children close together. And, I've started to think, why not? Why not just start trying again and get it over with? I can concentrate on running some shorter races and a half-marathon in February or March and just plan on running another marathon post baby #2. Plus, I kind of like not having the pressing load of a training schedule and sleeping in and just fitting in exercise whenever. It's easier.
Who knows. Maybe once work eases up (I've been working full time for the past month and should be going back to part-time once we get out project done), I'll crave more challenge. I told myself that I would give myself one month off of training before I started thinking about it again.
Weekly Mileage:
Monday, November 23, 2009: 7 miles, Body Flow
Tuesday, November 24, 2009: 9 miles
Wednesday, November 25, 2009: 75 minutes elliptical
Thursday, November 26, 2009: 11 miles
Friday, November 27, 2009: 11 miles
Saturday, November 28, 2009: 85 minutes elliptical (too busy reading Eclipse of the Twilight series to get off)
Sunday, November 29, 2009: 12 miles
Total Mileage: 50 miles
it's comforting to hear more serious runners also go back and forth between loving training and loving the breaks. and yeah, work sure gets in the way huh??
ReplyDeletei am totally thinking about the DC half! i have a friend who wants to do it with me. it seems so possible, yet...i just never got my running mojo back.
ReplyDeleteI would just start trying again :-). You've checked the "goal" box and like you said, there will always be marathons after #2. After reading this I am really wishing we would have just tried earlier. Good luck with the decision :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's me: totally thought I would have four kids but can't even think about having a second. I'm glad you at least feel ready.
ReplyDeleteI totally here you about the lack of pressure. Are you pumping when Nathan won't eat? whew- went through that last week and I'm still pumping way too much. I want to make it till Feb but this is rough!!
ReplyDeletehear you not here you. Oh my gosh, I have to go back to work.
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm glad to be back reading your blog again. :)
ReplyDeletecongrats on that great marathon finish. Holy cow. And I really do wish you all the best in TTC again... How many do you want? Doc told me that I MAY have had twins in the beginning which is why my hcg was so high initially (out of range for my dates) but it appears there is only 1 in there now. I cannot fathom trying to take care of Two More! Ahhhhhhh.
You know, I've been in a baby mood lately and my little one isn't really talking yet! Someone told me that biologically it has to do with the pheromones on a baby's skin; they start to lessen when the baby is about one. Meanwhile, mama is still craving those all baby pheromones and so taps papa on the shoulder for another go.
ReplyDeleteI have a spring ultra I'm interested in but wouldn't hesitate to drop it if I got pregnant. We don't want to wait too long. It's difficult to think of giving my body over to pregnancy again but I'm much encouraged by all that I (and so many others) was able to do during pregnancy, and also by how unexpectedly quickly my body returned to (mostly) normal.
Good luck!
That is super exciting that you are craving another baby. I am not there yet, but perhaps someday. I can totally understand that after accomplishing such a massive goal like a sub-3 marathon you want to just relax a bit with training and racing.
ReplyDeleteI've had one of those moments as well. I was doing IM Wisconsin and my coach "Angela, why do you want this?" and I know it was supposed to inspire me but I had no answer. A few months later I was pregnant with Zach. That being said, I AM NOT READY FOR BABY #2. I think I need another year of getting some sleep before I am ready for 6 straight months of no sleep.
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