Tardy Eggs

Well, they decided to push back my retrieval to today because my E2 levels just weren't rising enough.  They got 5 eggs.  We find out tomorrow how many fertilized.  I'm hoping for at least 2.  We'll see.

There is something about doing IVF again for the first cycle back in the saddle that isn't so scary, is more hopeful.  I liken it to how we felt when we did the first clomid cycle after Nugget.  I was hopeful.  I really thought we had figured out the problem and that we would actually get pregnant without IVF.  I was excited to get started.

I know that it is false hope in that it was freaking miserable getting pregnant the last time...but this time I am going in with the expectation that it's going to take a long time and it may not even work.  That if we are able to have another child it is a "bonus" child.  As in I already feel so lucky to have my two kids.  I'm sure my emotions will change if/when I get another negative pregnancy test.  But, right now, I'll live with my ambiguity.  Happiness that it might work.  Sadness that it might not.  I am NOT going to let myself get depressed again.

Look at my Big Girl!

Other big news: we have a crawler!!!