Another Blow

Last week, my sister had an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist because she hadn't gotten her period after stopping her birth control pills and they put her on provera and she didn't get her period then either. I was a bad sister, lost in my own drama...I didn't call her. When my sister told me that she was going to the RE, I told her not to worry about it...I had several friends that didn't have their period and had successfully gotten pregnant through Clomid, IUIs, or IVF. (In the back of my mind, I was resentful that she was going to move so quickly to getting pregnant because she only had this *tiny* problem.) I armed her with a list of questions to ask the RE and some information about our situation so that he would have an understanding of any potential genetic issues relating to fertility.

This past weekend I went to visit my family. On Saturday night, while sipping some wine and watching Nugget play, my sister said that the appointment with the RE hadn't been too bad, but that it probably would take a little bit of effort for them to get pregnant. We didn't talk about it any more that night.

Later, while discussing the evening in bed with my husband, he said that my mom had told him that my sister has the same "diminished ovarian reserve issue" and that her antral follicle count was FOUR. In addition, her husband has the EXACT same morphology problem as my husband (2-3%). I couldn't sleep all night. As context, my antral follicle count is seven to nine and I am 3.5 years older than my sister (she is 29).

The next morning I called my sister and told her that we had to talk. She confessed that she hadn't wanted to tell me the truth because she was worried that I would be "negative" and she didn't want to lose hope yet. I hated to tell her...I hated to show her the horrible statistics for diminished ovarian reserve...that the clinic where she was being treated only saw 2 women with diminished ovarian reserve in 2008 and NEITHER got pregnant. I told her that her antral follicle count was lower than mine. That they usually only do IVF if you have at least 5 follicles. I told her that there was hope and showed her some "success stories" for diminished ovarian reserve, but those are few and far between.

How can this happen to us? My mother had 4 children the first try...and had her last child at 34. Both of my grandmothers had no problems getting pregnant? How can one family be so stigmatized?

But, most of all, I am angry at myself for not learning about my condition sooner. I could have prevented myself and my sister from going through this pain.

Why? Why do we have to struggle so much?