Today's IUI just cracked me up. Because my husband and I had schedules packed with meetings today, we decided that we would just do our "thang" on our own schedules. So, my husband did his part in the morning and I did my part, well, around noon. It was the first time I have ever done a procedure without him there to hold my hand and partake in the process. It was odd, but we are 99% sure that this IUI isn't going to work because I only have one follicle and am ovulating on the ovary with the fallopian tube with the "questionable" flowage and probably make crappy eggs to match my husband's crappy sperm. I just wanted to feel like we were giving our eggs every last shot to get pregnant...even if we aren't doing IVF. Plus, it only costs $500. Why not? Wouldn't it make a GREAT story if we did get pregnant??
We still have no certainty about our next steps. I am hoping that our meeting with CCRM and Shady Grove next week will clear a few things up. I am feeling more and more comfortable with donor eggs, but still worry that the child would have issues with not being genetically related to me. As my therapist said, who are we to say that our child's life will be "ruined" because they weren't genetically related to me. We all have something we have to overcome in life, I guess. I want to be sure that I am making a morally responsible decision and have fully processed the effects this might have on the child. For me, the bottom line is that I want a child and will love whatever child I have because every child is a blessing.
It would totally make a good story. Like REALLY good.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's funny - my husband insists on being there at every transfer, even when we're both really busy too. I don't mind it so much, but I can't imagine at this point doing it alone. :)
I really do hope that your next appointments give you some measure of peace with the next steps. Approaching this thoughtfully, really thinking it out is a good plan.
xoxo
It would make an awesome story ... and so would a donor egg pregnancy. Any child will be blessed to have you as a mom, because you know just how precious every life is. Fingers xx'd.
ReplyDeleteyou just gotta love all that optimism in your first paragraph... (said very sarcastically)... but i totally understand that. and yeah, whey the heck not, huh?
ReplyDeleteand ps, i love your therapists advice. i agree. i think your child will say, wow, they really wanted me!
I really like this post... I resonate with "last ditch effort" IUIs. We have "severe MF" and yet we still give IUIs a shaking chance while we are in-between IVF cycles. I hope you get some good info from your consults with the other two Drs.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with your therapist - who's to say what your child will feel about this. I feel that I was born into the "wrong" family, but I am 100% certain I carry their genes. We all have a battle to fight (and win) in our lives. I am sure your love and dedication as a mom will be what your child will cherish most and besides, it's your blood that will run through them in utero, so as far as I am concerned... you are the mama!