Well, went in for my Antral Follicle Count today...and regular bloodwork, whatnot. Only 12 this month. Down 6 from last month's amazing 18. Which is depressing. But, the nurse said that sometimes they are so small at this stage that they can't see all of them. It's stil at least 3 higher than I've had on prior cycles. I'm hoping that a few more will come out of hiding for this final round.
Based on the decreased count, we're upping the drugs to the maximum dosage: 450 iu follistim and 150 menupor. I can already imagine what a crazy b*tch I'm going to be this month. And, am already starting to feel some of the effects of being pumped up on hormones as I was nauseous and sick all day today. Lovely to feel the side effects of pregnancy hormones without actually being pregnant.
I keep trying to get in a more positive, zen place...but I want to protect my heart. They say that hope can't hurt...but it does. The last cycle was so much harder than any of the prior cycles because we had true hope. Beautiful embryos. I can't seem to let myself go there again.
I hear the blah in your writing and the protection in your heart. I understand that feeling very well and am right ther with you. I feel like I will just be going through the motions with my final cycle. Just wish this would end soon for us.
ReplyDeleteDARN IT!! I'm sorry it went down. But those are some good ones to work with! I ended up with a few more eggies than what we anticipated based on my AFC. I hope you end up with several more! And holy drugs!! Shit! I hope you make it through okay. Take good care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI know this doesn't help, but I'm trying to give you something...at CCRM my AFC was lowish, but somehow they got 20 and 26 eggs so don't worry--more will come along. And if not, 12 is still a great number to work with!
ReplyDeleteYou protect yourself, I will be hopeful for you :)
ReplyDeleteI know you are protecting your heart, but just wanted to say that I am here and I have so much hope for you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteMy heart just aches for yours...i totally feel ya....you want to have hope, you know you should have hope, you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't have hope, but you can't believe because it hurts so f-ing bad every time it doesn't work. Sending you huge hugs and tons of luck and hope (until you can find it)!
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