Week 24 Running Stats and Week 25 1 Day Belly Shot

Week 24 Running Stats*
Thursday, September 21, 2011: 9 miles
Friday, September 22, 2011: 6 miles
Saturday, September 23, 2011: 9 miles
Sunday, September 24, 2011: 60 minutes elliptical
Monday, September 25, 2011: 9 miles
Tuesday, September 26, 2011: 9 miles
Wednesday, September 27, 2011: 10 miles
Total Mileage: 51 miles
Comparison to Pregnancy #1: 54 miles
*Let's just say that about 1/4 of these miles are spent walking...up hills, when I'm tired, etc. and they are VERY slow miles...10-12 minute/miles.


Running is definitely becoming a CHORE. My calves burn continually until about mile 6 and then things tend to loosen up, but not as much as they used to. I'm thinking it is time to reassess how much and whether I want to continue running. I went through a good 10 weeks of similar misery around this time (weeks 18-28) while running last pregnancy...but I'd rather been running slow @ss miles and walking up hills than doing the elliptical at the gym...so we'll see. Of course, I'd also really like to be doing a more balanced weekly workout with weights and yoga in addition to cardio...but right now it seems easier mentally to go for a run than to go to a class at the gym. I miss my arm muscles....maybe I should give up 1-3 runs a week and do weights/yoga instead?


Getting ready for baby: I haven't purchased anything for baby girl in the past two weeks. We are in the midst of a little remodel upstairs: tearing down the old closet in the-soon-to-be master bedroom and putting in pretty new wardrobe style (reach-in) closets by California Closets. After the remodel is finished, I'll get everything painted and THEN it will feel like time to REALLY get baby girl's room finished. I'm still waiting on a crib bumper from Etsy...but with all the news about crib bumpers...I'm wondering if I shouldn't have wasted my money on something purely decorative. My mother-in-law sent me two outfits for baby girl....let's just say that we have different aesthetic taste and I'm very scared about the trend that these two items may be setting for future purchases.....


And, now for the belly shot for 25 weeks, 1 day.

Week 23 Running Stats and Belly Picture

Today I am 24 weeks and 4 days! Woot woot! I am having the best kind of pregnancy so far: an uncomplicated one. I feel great (generally) with the exception of intense OCD-need-to-get-all-projects-that-we-have-been-ignoring-for-the-past-two-years-completed-YESTERDAY. At my 24-week ultrasound, baby girl was measuring in the 60th percentile!!

Week 23 Running Stats:
Thursday, September 15, 2011: 10 miles
Friday, September 16, 2011: 6 miles
Saturday, September 17, 2011: 8 miles
Sunday, September 18, 2011: Nada
Monday, September 19, 2011: 10 miles
Tuesday, September 20, 2011: 10 miles
Wednesday, September 21, 2011: 10 miles
Total Mileage: 54 miles
Comparison to Pregnancy #1: 61 miles

Highlights of the Week:

• Going to my friend's wedding in Pittsburgh and laughing with new friends.


• Dropping Nugget off at pre-school with NO crying two days last week. Nothing better than your child sobbing as you leave to make you feel like the WORST parent on the planet.


• Sword fights with Nugget for hours on end...he's such a rough and tumble boy.

And, at last....a pregnancy photo from 24 weeks and 1 day. I don't think this picture does my belly justice. I should take a "before" and "after" shot at the beginning and end of each day to show how much bigger the belly gets as the day goes on. This picture was taken first thing in the a.m. when I think baby girl was still nestled in pretty tightly.

Parity

I first started this blog over 3 years ago when I was 22 weeks pregnant with my son.



I never had a vision for this blog. I guess my only purpose in starting the blog was to put my information out there as a data point for other active women that struggled with inferiltity....And, now? Why do I keep blogging?



Mainly for myself, I think. I never dedicated enough time or effort or creativity in my blog to develop a following. But, similar to my attitude regarding friends in real life, I never valued quantity over quality. I'd much rather have deeper, richer, fewer connections with other bloggers than an overwhelming number of followers. And, so, I guess part of the reason I still blog is for those relationships: to continue to share in each other's lives.



However, I know that many of those I care about still haven't resolved their infertility and that my pregnancy is a point of pain. For that reason, I promised myself that I wouldn't talk endlessly about my pregnancy. I think I've wary of embracing this pregnancy in general for fear that it would fall between my fingers and all I would be left with is the severity of my want.



As this pregnancy progresses, though, I worry that I am wishing this special time away so I can rush to the end of my story: do I have a healthy baby? Does she survive? Does my journey finally end?



Recently, I have decided that I would like to hold on to as much of this pregnancy as possible. I think forcing myself to post pictures and recount the memories of each week of pregnancy will allow me to settle into living in the present, enjoying each flutter with my baby girl while she is with me.



I hope those of you still struggling can understand why I would like to take my blog in this direction and I will not be offended if you never read or post on my blog again. I have done the very same thing when the the pain of my struggle made it too hard to see others moving forward with their lives.



And, with that:


My running stats for week 22:
Thursday, September 8, 2011: 10 miles
Friday, September 9, 2011: 9 miles
Saturday, September 10, 2011: off
Sunday, September 11, 2011: 11 miles
Monday, September 12, 2011: 9 miles
Tuesday, September 13, 2011: 10 miles, Body Pump
Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 9 miles
Total Mileage: 58 miles
Compare to Pregnancy #1: 62 miles



Symptoms while running: During my first pregnancy, I had intense calf pain and numbness in my feet starting around 18 weeks for the first 3-4 miles in a run. It started around 18 weeks again this pregnancy, but surprisingly seems to have gone away in the past few days (hence the mileage!) and it is AWESOME! Some days are definitely better than other days in terms of running. Some days I have to walk up all the hills and am barely running a 10 minutes pace; other days I feel like I can fly up hills and start thinking about doing track workouts again.



Baby purchases to date: 4 outfits that "accidentally" fell into my bag at a consignment shop when I was buying winter clothes for Nugget. A baby book that I fell in love with a long time ago. A poster of a "fairy girl" painting from Etsy. A pink and white butterfly orb from Etsy.



Nugget's Perspective on the Baby: Nugget doesn't quite seem to grasp the "baby in mommy's belly" concept. He has been talking about babies a bit more and acting like a baby quite frequently. He'll crawl around on the floor mewing like a cat and his indignant response to our question on his mammal status is: "I baby. I cyying." (he can't pronounce "r's" that clearly).



And, that, is my update.

Healing

I'm 21 weeks today.

While talking to a grad school friend/work colleague today outside of the bathroom, I felt the urge to tell her that I was pregnant. Turning to the side, I ran my hands over my belly, thinking that my bump would be a "cute" way to announce the pregnancy as I tear up anytime I tell someone. She looked at me, confused. "No, I'm not pregnant," she says. I laughed and told her that I was the one that was pregnant. She was incredulous. "I couldn't tell." Lowering her voice, she ask "Did it take a while?" She knew that we had some "troubles" with Nugget. Instead of finding the question a little biting, I found it to be a simple, matter-of-fact response: "yes."

I suppose that means I'm healing. I don't get as ANGRY or BITTER when I think about it. It took a while. But not forever. How quickly I seem to forget the pain.

I think it is a function that in retrospect I can look back...with perspective...and say that 16 months of fertility treatments was not forever. If everything works out with this baby, it will be a small piece of my past. It won't be everything.

Braxton Hicks--Already???

During my last pregnancy, I had a traumatic experience with Braxton Hicks. I was 24 weeks pregnant and had been noticing that I was having BH fairly regularly, sometimes several times in an hour (they care if you have more than 4-5 in an hour) (see my post about it). I went in to see the doctor, they freaked out, my husband freaked out, I freaked out. I very nearly missed a flight to a wedding that I was in. Obviously, my pregnancy turned out fine. I was 39 weeks 4 days when I delivered my son after much persuasion from drugs...so there was NO problem with early dilation (thank goodness).

I noted in my blog that I first started noticing them around week 22. Here I sit at 20 weeks and they are DEFINITELY happening again. I'm almost reluctant to tell my husband or doctor because of their reaction the last time, but I guess I'll bring it up at my next OB appointment.

In terms of comparisons to my last pregnancy, this pregnancy is pretty similar. I've been running almost as much as I ran the last time (with the exception of our recent vacation to the Pacific NW where I didn't get to run much at all....I was a little too afraid of a bear chasing me to actually be able to run in Glacier). My stomach is definitely bigger this time. I don't weigh myself (and didn't weigh myself last pregnancy) so I don't know how the weight gain compares, but I would imagine I started this pregnancy a little higher than my last pregnancy and have probably gained a few more pounds, but who knows. I'm not worried about weight gain. My attitude is that if the nurse/doctor brings it up (too much or too little) then I will pay attention, but for the most part I'm just eating like I've always eaten (sans sushi, copious amounts of wine, and deli meat). Which means LOTS of chocolate...peanut butter...salads...greek yogurt...and fruits galore.

I'm finally getting to the point where I am EXCITED about this pregnancy...where I actually WANT to tell people I am pregnant and share in the joy of our baby girl. Which is refreshing. But, at the same time, I fear that I have lost sense of the precariousness of our situation and how easily all of this could be taken away from me. I didn't even BUY anything for my son until I reached viability (24 weeks) and I actually bought four outfits this past weekend for Baby Joy (not her name). Am I tempting fate?

Our Fairy Girl

I had my 20 week ultrasound today. The baby is doing well. And, joy of joys, we are having our fairy girl. The one I have dreamed of since I was a girl. Sweet girl, I cannot wait for you to be in my arms, safe and healthy and pink with life.

An Interlude

Just a quick stop-in between our two vacations this month (Maine and the Pacific NW) to say that we are alive...

The baby has been quite active the past few weeks. I'm feeling lots of movement and hiccups. The light fluttering of life below. Such precious little moments.

Nugget has been so much FUN and so much WORK on this vacation. We're still trying to potty train him and his temper tantrums are growing. But, we also have wonderful times. Running along the coast as Nugget shouts, "I running, I running!" Playing lion in the park as we roar at birds and squirrels. Curled up in bed, listening to the low bleat of the fog horn.

On to vacation #2.