Conception

A year ago yesterday, my precious little girl was either a 7-cell or 8-cell embryo that was transferred into me.

I post this picture here because it is a special, private moment with her, happily nursing.  For the past year, I have sustained her either in my womb or via my breast milk.  What a difference a year makes.

What a difference two years makes...this time two years ago, I ran a marathon and hung up my running shoes to begin the IVF process.

I wonder where I will be a year from now.  Will I be pregnant again?  Will I have failed in our attempt for a third child?  Will I have wished I had weaned my daughter sooner?  Will I be quitting my job to change careers?  After the precipice of this next month and my husband no longer having a job, I have no idea where I will be.  It's scary to have no sense of the future...but at the same time it is centering.  All I know is this day.


Two great things happened today:
1. I had an AMAZING 15.6 mile run.  I felt strong.  I felt light.  I have no idea how fast I ran, but it was the first long run post-partum where I finished feeling great rather than completely spent.
2. I bought 4 GRE books.  Regardless of the unknowns, I am confident that I will have to take the GREs at some point in the next 5 years, so why not now?  Change begins with small steps and I am slowly making them to the future unknown.