Today we learned that my husband's contract was being pulled and that he is only going to be paid through the end of the month. Then he's out of work.
Thankfully, we're always expecting the worst and have six months savings. I have faith that he'll be able to find more work or a new job. I'm not sure how long it will take and what cost saving/revenue producing measures we'll have to take to get us through...but...
I'm embarrassed to admit that my initial response to hearing this news was to cry. To feel sorry for myself and our family...
To think that jeez...just when we start feeling awesome about life, the rug gets pulled out from under us.
I know that ultimately we'll be fine.
But, I felt sad that what I hoped would be an amazing six months (unpaid) maternity leave where I could just luxuriate in the bliss of my happy baby and solely focus on getting back in shape, finishing up some home decorating projects, and enjoying life after the sucky suck of the past few years. My husband insists that I can still take six months off (I have three more months!), but I'm not sure I can enjoy myself while I'm stressing out about whether we have enough money to tide us over until he finds more work. And, I guess this puts my master plan of pursuing another career on the way back burner. I'm also not sure how we will be able to afford fertility treatments again if he doesn't land some work ASAP. I guess we could push that off until he has a job...but again...with my diminished ovarian reserve time is of the essence.
I feel like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. I wish life could be struggle-free and someone else could worry about money and jobs and all that stuff. I guess I felt like life should be easy for us...at least for a little while...But, there is no karmic arbiter that balances out rough times with good times.
Tonight we went to the park with my son. We fought with stick "swords." We laughed as my husband wore bunny ears. A dear friend dropped off some flowers and a warm hug. Baby Girl spent the evening laughing and flirting with us. We may not have a job right now...but we have so much more that matters.
It's okay to throw a tantrum. That can be scary news, and shit yeah you deserve for something to be easy for a while. Hoping someday you look back and realize that it led to a great change for you guys.
ReplyDeleteI would totally be throwing a tantrum and freaking out as well. Hopefully that whole "when one door closes a window opens up" proves to be true and the window that opens is an amazing opportunity.
ReplyDeleteI think it's natural to stress out. I am sure I freak out for a while too. It is good that you have back up savings (so many people don't and it scares me for them) and hopefully you won't even need to use it all. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteGood on you guys for thinking/planning ahead; sorry to hear about your husband's contract being pulled - I do hope perhaps it will open up some doors though in a bit? (can he be self-employed?). You should invest in a punching bag...here's wishing you success in working things out, perhaps there is something unexpected for you around the corner career/finances wise? i hope so.
ReplyDeleteOh no!!! I'm so sorry for this stress right now. I'm glad you guys have planned so well and have a few months safety net. That's impressive!!
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to cry... I feel like after all you have been through, it would be fantastic to expect happy sailing for at least a few years, right? It's so hard when the unexpected throws you for a loop, once again.
I was going to ask you, how long your maternity leave is! And I didn't realize that you were going to take 6 full months off. How fantastic!! I hope that you can still try to enjoy these remaining 3 months and do the things that you want to do.
And you are right, bad times and good times are always going to ebb and flow, in a way you can not predict, or expect. Try to find the good in the times, like you are doing right now. Big hugs...