What makes the Good Life?
I love our life right now. We have so many deep, rich friendships in this area....old friends that have known us for ages as individuals before we were a couple and newer friends with whom we share interests and values. We have great neighors that we can rely on. Even in a city as large as Washington, DC, it is rare that I go out and don't run into someone that I know. For example, I just ran into one of my friends from work at the grocery store. It makes a city feel like a home. We also have so many career opportunities here and I love the job that I have. Plus, my family is only two hours away and hubby's family is five hours away.
All this being said, sometimes I feel frustrated with this area. Mostly, I feel frustrated because it is so damn expensive. To buy a three bedroom house (~2000 sq. ft.) in a decent neighborhood (i.e., decent public schools and short commute) is at least $700,000-900,000. Childcare costs anywhere from $1200 to $2000/month (for ONE child). I look at properties in other areas and can't believe how cheap some of the houses are. And, I also feel a little bit of wander lust. I never intended to stay in DC when I moved here after college. It was a layover on my way to bigger and better places (i.e., NYC or the West Coast). But, then I met my hubby who didn't want to move and I got a full scholarship to a local grad school program. So, I made the decision to stay. It's almost 9 years later and I feel comfortable here. Part of me loves that comfort, as someone that went to 9 different schools growing up and was constantly the "new girl" it is refreshing to feel embedded in an area. The other part of me is craving adventure and wondering if "this is it." This is the rest of my life.
A couple of things would have to fall in place for this to happen, but my husband might have an interesting job opportunity in Denver, CO. Part of me is so excited to think about moving to a new place! Plus, I LOVE Colorado...I have always been a mountains gal and it is such an athletic, outdoorsy place. One of my best friends from grad school lives in CO and I know that her family would adopt us as their own (they have told us as much....her father is a jeweler and designed my engagement ring!). We try to go out and see them every year. It would also be great from a quality of life perspective...we could buy a bigger house and have a similar mortgage, plus childcare is cheaper, and this would allow us more options financially. But, the other part of me is scared to leave my family and friends. I saw my own parents struggle to make new friends when we moved to new places and know how lonely it can be. Could we survive without family to rely on?
I don't know that moving would make us any happier in life. It would be exciting to live someplace new and explore the mountains and redefine ourselves in a new place. But, would we find ourselves wishing we hadn't left our friends and family? It breaks my heart to think of my siblings having children and us not being a part of their lives. I know that material wealth doesn't bring happiness and that isn't the sole motivator for wanting to leave, but will I always live my life wondering what if? Would we become different people if we moved away? Would I have the financial freedom to explore other careers? Would we love the mountains and the beautiful national parks enough to make up for the loss of family? How important is extended family when some amount of disfunction exists? Would we be missing out on an opportunity to live a life less ordinary?
Whew. THat is a tough call! It sounds like you are so comfortable in your area and things are going so well there - along with the frustrations, that I feel like will come with any place. I think about that often too - my siblings being local when all of us have kids. It is kind of like prioritizing everything I think. DC is a fun place.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot to think about. I remember when Justin and I decided to move abroad and it was tough - not everyone was supportive or excited about the change. We manage to stay in touch by talking via Skype (even calling during family get togethers so I can chat with aunts and uncles too) and planning visits. The burden (financial, time) of visiting rests primarily on us but if we stay abroad for much longer, we'll be asking family and friends to visit us, rather than trekking back to the States every summer. Eventually we'll land back in the States but aren't sure if we'll head for home home or settle in a new place. Let yourself dream a bit though - don't be too quick to decide. Keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely tougher to live away from family when you have kids. I haven't lived near my family for 16 years, but now that I have Moana I can see how nice it would be to have grandma nearby! But I wouldn't live in Ohio to do it... Moving and reestablishing yourself as an adult is really hard. I think it takes about 6 months to get settled and find some acquaintances... years before those people are actually 'friends'. Good luck with your decision!! It does eventually happen though. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard choice. I love this area now, but it took me a LONG time to accept that this is where we'll be until my husband retires, if not longer. The cost of living and the crazy traffic have made us consider leaving more than once. If we had family close by though, I'm not sure I'd ever consider leaving.
ReplyDeleteI moved a lot growing up too and some days it is still weird being in the same house for the last 12 years. But, at the same time, I love that I've created a comfortable life here in my very small house in my great neighborhood.
Good luck with the decision!
9 years in DC is a really long time for DC. No one seems to stay there too long. I love the DC area and wouldn't mind moving back there but I'd also go to Colorado in a heartbeat. Sometimes it's great to take chances and to build new circles of friends and support. Having kids adds another layer to the decision though. I'd love to have some grandparents nearby now. Go with your instincts. Like someone else said, don't be too quick to decide.
ReplyDeletei wonder if the weirdness is from the tears too. i've heard other runner moms say the same thing but not sure? it's annoying though...just a nagging thing that makes my mind go "oh, ok, maybe that's far enough." not helping!! as for your post...i'm in the same boat, never thought i'd be...well, grown up i guess. it's good!
ReplyDeleteHi Ladies, Thanks for the thoughtful comments. I have been thinking about this pretty much non-stop this week. If my hubby wins the Denver work, we will have an opportunity to fly out there and check out the area in April or May. Until then,I am going to do my best to focus on my current life rather than fantasize about "what if." I just have to remind myself that with every decision there are pluses and minuses and that the grass isn't always greener.
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